When the Glass Slipper Breaks

Once Upon a Time
“Once upon a time, there lived an ordinary girl.”

In their screenplay, Ever After, Andy Tennant, Susannah Grant, and Rick Parks takes us back to the origins of the Cinderella story. Drew Barrymore plays a young, ordinary girl who is raised by her widowed father and is the apple of his eye. All of his affections were bestowed on her and her alone until he falls in love with the wicked stepmother. Her dad then suddenly dies leaving her to be raised by a woman who hated her.

Ordinary girls everywhere went to see this classic film with a twist, grossing over $65 million domestically and $35 million in foreign theatres. For some reason, the American public was captivated by the hope that dreams really can come true in spite of the havoc American culture has wreaked on the institution of marriage and strong relationships.

This ordinary girl unassumingly found her favorite story to be Utopia not necessarily because of its meaning as much as it was the last book her father had given her. Her plans of growing up to become a wife and mother – in that order, of course – were cemented in the love her father had for her.

As we build on our relationships, very few women consider the impact their fathers have on their choice of men. According to The Fatherhood Initiative, statistics tell us that over 24 million children live without their biological father in their home. As fathers become increasingly absent from children’s lives, girls are more insecure and more likely to have skewed ideas of marriage and love. They begin seeking acceptance through sexual promiscuity and abhorrent behavior in order to attract anyone to love them.

In my case, it was difficult to find anyone that measured up to my father. Because I lost him to a premature death when I was only 18 years of age, I had virtually no one to compare him to when seeking my soul mate. In fact, I had a rich heritage of men in my family that gave me a foundation for what to look for in a man.

We have probably all seen a picture of Norman Rockwell’s grandfather with the little girl sitting on his lap or teaching the little boy the joys of fishing. Carry that picture, if possible, to the real grandfather figures in our lives that gave us the foundation of what to seek in a soul mate. My grandfathers were the epitome of virtue and holy faith. They were great men of previous generations who lived for right and died with the freedom to do what was right. They lived in simpler times that made white framed houses a castle and picket fences a fortress. They were patriots of a greater America who stood for God, country and the American way; and were first-hand witnesses to the horrors of a world at war. They participated in the victory over the greatest threats ever known to our country - Communism and Nazi Germany.

Do you have someone in your life that was a grandfather image to you? Did you know your grandfather? Were you close to him? How have they impacted your choice of men? It was my destiny to personally know my grandfathers only through the lives of those they touched. My dad’s father died of a heart attack just a few months after I was born. My mom’s dad was struck by a drunk driver several years prior and was instantly killed. I am acquainted with them from the pictures that line my hallway mirroring the image of the men they were and the characteristics they inculcated into my parents.

My paternal grandfather was a tall, strong man who always wore a smile. He married a small, frail woman who adored him long after his death. His work ethic was impeccable as he poured blood, sweat and tears into the railroad lines and brought in a new era of transportation for the State of Texas. From the humid forests of Huntsville to the stretching pines of Palestine, he laid the rails of the 20th century.

My dad learned his solid work ethic at the feet of his dad and I learned its value through him. I learned early on that laziness in a man promises poverty and an empty life. That was instilled in me as I watched my dad replicate what he had learned from his father. If it was broken, he fixed it. Whether it was his job or not, he did what he could to get the job done. If he saw something that needed to be done, he did it. There was no ranking or pecking order in my grandfather’s work ethic. He embraced the idea of helping others and getting the job done pursuing excellence along the way.
My grandfather was a man’s man cut of the cloth of human decency and wrapped in the cloak of brotherly kindness. He carried his craft to heights of excellence and rose through the ranks of his profession with integrity and example. His exemplary person was seen not only in the eyes of his peers but felt in the heart of his family. He was a strong disciplinarian with a gentle touch. His word could stop the foulest argument and his touch could soothe the most troubled soul. That’s how my dad learned to discipline us. My grandfather loved his parents and family as evidenced in the consistent sacrifice he made to care for his mother and 12 siblings until the day he died.