Hearing from God

There have been many times during this pandemic when I have said to myself, “I don’t think I want to hear the latest news!” I read the morning newspapers with trepidation and listen to the evening news with guarded reserve. COVID-19 is like entering uncharted waters—difficult to navigate. It is a plague with more issues surfacing daily. Each day presents new challenges, and today was no different: “Domestic violence calls increase locally and nationwide during the COVID-19 pandemic.”1 As couples and families are spending more time together in their homes, apparently temperatures are rising. Unfortunately, with stress and depression levels increasing, frustration and abuse are being directed at the closest people available. And most of the victims are women. The threat looms largest where they should feel safest—in their homes. This is a problem resulting from this pandemic few if any people anticipated. What is the answer when the shelter-in-place mandate is still in effect? The ultimate answer does not come in changing the situation or the environment. It comes from changing the hearts of the people involved. And who gives the best advice and outcomes in the heart department? God, who made our hearts! God’s Word makes it very clear: To develop the loving and caring relationships He knows are best for us, we need to live and love without conditions. God demonstrated that kind of self-sacrificing love when He sent His Son to save us. We did not deserve it; nor did we have to earn it. Christ gave His life freely for us out of His great love. It had no conditions. In other words, His love was, and is, condition-free. Condition-Free Love God directs husbands to love their wives, like Christ loves the church, selflessly giving, without conditions.2 Christ, “didn’t love in order to get something from us, but to give everything of himself to us,”3 and we are exhorted to love like that. This advice is reflected in top marriage counsel by James Dobson, a leading family counselor, who I once heard say, “Love unconditionally even when you don’t feel like it … communication and love are not feelings, but choices.” If we just respond to our spouses or others in like manner—kindness for kindness, anger for anger, and so on—it means our actions are entirely dictated by another person’s behavior, showing no amount of goodness of our own. If we love unconditionally, we do not live our lives based on feelings or emotions but on choices. We choose to love even when it is underserved, when it’s difficult, or during stressful circumstances. This condition-free love brings harmony. It changes relationships. It changes lives. Not until this day did something revolutionary in my thinking occur; call it an epiphany of sorts. That is: Wasn’t God calling us not only to love unconditionally but to live condition-free in many other aspects of our lives? It seemed to be coming clearer to me that if we could make condition-free living the new norm, it would lead to more self-fulfillment and more positive interactions with others. It was obvious that God already knew where this would work if applied in our lives. Condition-Free Forgiveness God calls us to forgive others, not based on how we feel or what the offender deserves, but to forgive unconditionally. Our decisions to forgive are not to be based on who we think is right or wrong, the degree of the offense, or whether we feel pardon is justified or not. God tells us forgiveness should not be contingent on circumstances but based on one’s choice to obey God. Apostle Paul demonstrated unconditional love when he endured continued persecution. He said, “When we are reviled, we bless … when we are slandered, we try to conciliate,”4 and, “bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse.”5 With condition-free forgiveness, we are basing our responses on choice, not on natural, prideful, and bitter feelings to retaliate. Condition-Free Thankfulness God’s will for us is to “give thanks in all circumstance.”6 God wants us to give thanks in everything. That doesn’t mean necessarily for everything, like the bad things happening in our lives, but to still be grateful to God in those difficult times, like now, for example. In other words, our giving thanks is not dependent on just good things happening in our lives, which is highly unlikely, anyway. We are to focus on the good, the just, and what’s right, and find reasons to praise God at all times.7 Condition-free thankfulness changes our hearts to ones of obedience, trust, and hope, which God knows is best for us to have contented lives. Condition-Free Trust God calls us to trust not based on how we feel or what’s going on in our lives at that moment. Our trust should not be based on everything being perfect, that God is answering all our prayers, or that everything in life is lining up the way we think it should. Much will happen in life that will test our trust in God, like this present pandemic, but God wants us to cling to Him with unwavering faith and in what His plan is for our lives: “Trust the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.”8 In difficult times, and at all times, the big question is not so much can we trust God, but can He trust us? He is looking for condition-free faith. Other needed condition-free areas of our lives come to mind: for example, giving, caring, helping, obeying God, and joyfulness. In all of them, life-changing freedom and fulfillment come from a life based on choice, not dictated by fluctuating circumstances or feelings. If we refuse to be controlled by our natural responses, which are often self-focused and prideful (causing separation and brokenness), but choose instead to live condition-free, we will be honoring God and, He promises, we will experience His blessings of fulfillment, harmony, and peace. April 18, 2020