ALWAYS BEFORE ME

After some years, Father Anthony learned that the girl who accused him was dying of lung cancer, and so he began to pray each day that God would cure her. The Bishop had heard about it and would keep him informed of the girl’s status. She asked if Father Anthony would come to see her. She was married and had two children. Father Anthony went, of course, and heard her confession, and he forgave her. To outward appearances, she had ruined his dream. Yet Father Anthony bore her no ill will, and had long ago forgiven her from his heart. Life and God’s grace had made him incapable of anything else. His prayers had been answered. As the girl’s disease progressed Father Anthony intensified his prayers for her recovery and forgiveness. As was his custom, he often prayed out loud thinking he was alone and could give voice to his prayers to God.
One day, while Father Anthony was praying, Matt was coming to see Father Anthony, but before he entered Father Anthony’s room he could hear Father Anthony praying. Coming down the hall towards Father Anthony’s room he stopped in his tracks and listened for a moment to hear the prayers of this good man, and so that Father Anthony, who was a little hard of hearing by this time, could not hear his footsteps and accordingly stop praying out loud. He was curious to eavesdrop on his dialogue with God.
“Lord, you will open my lips; and my mouth will proclaim your praise” (Psalms 51: 17 NABRE). Incline your ear to hear thy voice in supplication pleading to Thee. Eternal Father to Thee I give all thanksgiving and praise. You order all things rightly, and all creation calls you Holy. Jesus said that whatever you ask of the Father in my name He will grant you, and further how much you will send the Holy Spirit to those who ask You. Therefore, in Jesus’ name I pray that You would forgive me my sins, and send me the Holy Spirit to know and do Thy will, and that you would renew the face of the earth. I also pray, Dear Father, that this girl who once accused me be forgiven, and that you would cure her cancer, and let me take her place instead.”
Matt was astonished. His eyes welled up with tears. He was embarrassed to continue walking towards where Father Anthony was praying for fear Father Anthony would realize Matt had overheard his prayers, so he silently backed out of the hallway and returned to his office. His glance was down, and he was lost in his thoughts. Father Paul and Father Anthony were two humble servants, but clearly two great men known only to God and a handful of men. Couldn’t they have done so much more if only they had become better known and developed many followers. Yet among many of the great ones of God it is not so. How many saints are known only to God? Recall that Jesus preached to many, but initially had only twelve apostles and a few followers and rejected any thought that the people would come to make Him king. There is but one king – The Lord God who is king of the universe. Worldly honors were not for Father Paul or Father Anthony. Like their Savior before them the only title they sought was the title of humble servant of the Lord.
Matt reflected on these things. He had committed an unforgivable sin in men’s eyes. He had molested others, and yet he was sorry and wished to reform, and Father Anthony had told him that forgiveness was possible by the grace of God. So the next day he went to see Father Anthony and made his confession. Just by being who he was Father Anthony had saved Matt. How many could each of us save if we would reform?
And what happened next? The girl who Father Anthony prayed for got better, and Father Anthony got an aggressive form of lung cancer, the same type of cancer that the girl had faced. Matt attended to him daily, and Father Anthony asked and was given a bunk in one of the empty cells which he planned would become his death bed. He suffered terribly. Near the end he raised his eyes to Heaven, and Matt heard him say, “Jesus, Mary and Joseph to you I give my heart and my soul, and with Thee and through Thee I commend my Spirit into the hands of the Eternal Father.” But this was not to be the end. The doctor discovered that the cancer had spread to his throat and tongue, and, unless something was done, it would choke him. So they took him to the prison infirmary because Father Anthony would not go to the hospital, and there told him he must have a surgical procedure to remove his vocal cords and his tongue to prevent him from choking. Father Anthony was almost too ill to object, but just before they gave him the anesthetic he looked lovingly at Matt and said “With my last words, I say out loud, praise be Jesus Christ now and forever, and blessed be the Name of Jesus.” And so, the procedure was performed, and Father Anthony died a week later not having spoken again.
Matt was a witness to these things, and the suffering of Father Paul and Father Anthony took the bitterness out of his heart, and now with the deaths of Father Paul and Father Anthony there was no one to carry on their work in the prison. No one except the great sinner Matt. As he contemplated the task ahead, he prayed to God for guidance and strength. So it is that God takes the weak and makes them strong that no flesh may glory in his sight.
The wake for Father Anthony was held in the prison. Father Anthony’s nephew, John, did go to visit Matt, and saw how Father Anthony’s life had impacted Matt. He had also heard the stories of Father Paul, but worldly cares and anxiety caused the message to be lost on him. Nothing in the background of either priest would have given a clue they would grow to be saints of God. Therefore, growing into saints is something all men can do. This is the reason it is important to understand their stories.
Father Richard was very contemplative at Father Anthony’s wake. He stared at the casket and reflected on the lives and deaths of both priests from the prison. Shortly after John left, Matt entered the room, and prayed before the casket. He touched Father Anthony’s arm, and his eyes welled with tears.
Father Richard heard Matt’s sighs, and stood at his place anticipating that when Matt turned around he would comfort him. Matt did turn and extended his hand to the priest and introduced himself. Matt came and took the seat next to where the priest was sitting. Father Richard explained that he had been there for a while now and needed to leave for an appointment.
“Father,” asked Matt, “why doesn’t God do something about evil and suffering in the world. There is so much violence and suffering in here.”
The priest slowly arose from his seat in preparation to leave, but turned and looked Matt in the eye and said, “He has done something. He has sent you and me.”
With that the priest walked toward the door, and Matt sat back down and looked at Father Anthony who in his life and his death spoke more to Matt about God’s will than all the philosophers. Matt realized he had also been sent.
Father Anthony’s tombstone was ordered by Matt. Inscribed on it were the words, “A useless servant of the Lord.” Father Anthony would have liked that inscription, and Father Paul would have liked it also.