It is weird how we look at situations differently as time passes. What I perceived as confusion, torture and pain on that very long night, I now feel almost as if it were a blessing sent from God and our Savior! Do we sometimes need our senses stressed immensely to shock us back into what really matters in life? As we race about each day while working, playing, sporting, and the like, do we take time to give thanks for our often undeserved yet bountiful blessings that are so easy to overlook and appreciate? Must we be reminded that we only have so much control? None over the weather and little over fate.
Now that a month has passed, what is my take on my escape from death? Here is what I have concluded.
Going to church all my life and studying my Bible all that while, I could only have a very vague idea of where God is. It doesn't matter. We are not meant to know while pacing this planet. Just know that he loves us, and wishes all good things for us. If we cause our own destruction or lose our earthly life through no fault of our own, it matters little in the eternal course of events. God will always be in control.
Still, where is God? Where do I picture him? He must be up there billions of miles away on his glorious throne, overseeing all his creation; not just our small sphere known as Earth. We are not allowed and greatly undeserving to picture God's home; it is everywhere.
So then, where is Jesus? I, like most of us, formed a picture long ago of him up there sitting on the right hand of God. If Christ is up there, can he still be here to look after you and me in our daily lives? Is he very nearby? Why don't we see Him, hear Him, or get a modern proof of his closeness? I lived for 78 years on belief in Christ but had no proof, nor did I feel I deserved any. I'm willing to venture a guess that you haven't any proof either.
Is it possible for Jesus to come down into view of anyone? If Christ were to appear to any single human, wouldn't it be to the likes of a Billy Graham or someone far more deserving than I? Why me Lord? I have always been a sinner, a bad sinner. I am the most sinful person I know. I know all my sins and continually ask forgiveness for them. I know of almost no sin that you folks have committed. Most of you appear pretty clean and holy to me. I see you in church and about the community looking quite splendid. You don't look like sinners to me!
Maybe the Biblical Book of St. Matthew, chapter 18, verse 11-13 will help explain and, I quote verbatim from my old Holy Bible, King James version, though I own three other more modern versions. I like this one best to describe my point. Harken to the words of Jesus. It think ye? If a man have one hundred sheep, and one of them be gone astray, doth he not leave the ninety and nine, and goeth into the mountains, and seeketh the which is gone astray? Verse 13- And if so be that hew find it, verily I say unto you, he rejoiceth more of that sheep, then of the ninety and nine which went not astray."
Explain this to me, please! Was I a lost sheep in the mountains; maybe lost in more ways than one? Did my Shepherd, Jesus, come into the mountains and rescue me? Just maybe the other ninety and nine of you did not need rescue. Think whatever you like. I am now contented. My heart is chocked full of gratitude for my Savior!! Now, I can face the winter of my life without fear. What I witnessed fills me with hope and confidence. Amen!