Victory

A day in the life of little Sarah Ann 6-years-old Sunrise. I wake up with the morning light, my knees tucked under me and my bottom in the air because the beating I endured the night before left my backside really sore. The smell of my filthy sheets fills my mouth; it is what I am used to. My eyes are caked shut. My bedroom floor is nasty with cigarette butts all over the place. I have no fresh clean clothes to put on so I just go to the bathroom. I try to run my hands through my hair but I can't because my hair is a ratted up mess. I sneak through the house to the kitchen because I'm really hungry. Daddy has already left for the day, and won't be back until after dark. I scan the kitchen counters for something, anything to dull the pain of my hunger. There are beer cans on the counter with stale beer pouring out of the ones that are knocked over. I don't see anything at all; then I hear my stepmother coming. I see a bread bag! I grab the bag hoping there will be something in it. I cram it into my pants and run out the door. The fresh air fills my lungs. The sun is so bright, so I have to squint my eyes tight as I go to the back of our trailer. I sit down in the dusty area right next to the trailer and open the bag. Yes! It has a dried up molded heel of bread left in it. My mouth waters, I can't wait to put something in my growling belly. So I can make it last longer I break the heel into several tiny pieces. I put the biggest piece in my mouth and let it melt. I put another one in my mouth and let it melt as well. I think, "I better save some for later.” so I hide the bag in the brush on the outside edge of our yard. Mid-morning, after they eat breakfast. My tiny red shorts and what is supposed to be a white t-shirt are filthy dirty. It is so hot. I notice the next-door neighbors are gone so I go jump into their kiddy pool. The water hasn't been changed in a while. The water is covered in green moss, but I don't care. I lie back in the warm water and look at the pretty blue sky and dream of not ever being hungry again. I wonder. What is it like to sit at a table with your family and eat till you're not hungry anymore? I get out of the pool and decide to go on a treasure hunt. I gather as many sticks as I can find. Sticks and rocks are the only toys I have. I try to see how high I can stack them crisscrossed without it falling over. I can't go very high so I play my usual game. I stack the sticks crisscross like log cabins to build buildings. I make several buildings only stacking a few high. I run my hands through the dirt to make roads between the buildings. I hunt for just the right shaped rock that I can use for my car. I have a house, a school, a store, and a gas station. I play in our yard alone with the sticks and the rock. My stepmother comes to the door yelling,“Sarah!”Oh! No! I take off running to her because I don't want to make her even madder than she already is. I just got back from getting in the dirty pool again. I was hot and I had to cool off. “Sarah, why are you wet!?" Heddy asks me in a very angry voice. “I got in the neighbor's pool." I innocently reply. She grabs my long hair and drags me to her chair where her favorite beating weapon is sitting. I don't cry even though I want to. When she gets to her chair, she rips my shirt off then she grabs me by the armpits with both hands. I give a pleading look for mercy as I look up at her with tears in my eyes. When I see the really evil grin on her face I know she is not going to let me go; she never does. She grabs the broken half of a yellow broomstick with her right hand. She glares at me once more with her evil eyes then turns me around and holds my left armpit with her left hand. She rears back and makes contact with my bare lower back. My little body swings into the air as I groan. It takes all I have not to scream and cry. Heddy hits me over and over. I wonder if she is ever going to stop. After several strikes she finally stops. She holds my frail body by the armpits and pulls me up off the ground till I am face to face with her. She grins and gives a huge stinky exhale. I want to gag because it smells so bad, like a mixture of coffee, cigarettes and stale beer. She gives me her evil grin and puts me down. As soon as I hit the ground I run to my bedroom as fast as I can. I crawl under my bed and the tears flood my face. I stay as silent as possible because I don't want my stepsister to know I am crying. Barbara is sitting on the floor playing with her dolls. I am thinking, “What did I do!?” Finally, I stop crying and squeeze out from under our bunk bed. “Can I play?” “No!” Barbara snaps. I knew she wouldn't let me play with her toys, I don't know why I even asked. I quietly get on the edge of my lower bunk and watch her play for a little while.