Sharpen Your Listening Skills
A Guaranteed Way to improve All Your Relationships
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After over 50 years of counselling people, there is absolutely no doubt in my mind that the one essential quality required for developing and maintaining every kind of human relationship, is the ability to be a good listener. The predominant factor in the breakdown of relationships, whether they are social, among friends, fellow workers, volunteers, colleagues, in business, with students, among academics, in marriage, in love, or with family, is nearly always that one or more of the parties involved simply ‘does not listen’. All through The Bible from Genesis to Revelation, God is continually urging people to listen. In every book there are challenges to listen and there are warnings about the consequences of not listening. The message could not be clearer – as human beings, we are not good listeners. The general principle here is that we don’t listen to God, we don’t listen to creation, and we don’t listen to one another. Even for people who believe in God, they often can’t accept that He really does speak to people today and they are usually so keen on telling God what they think He needs to know, that they don’t take the time to listen to what He has to say. Unfortunately, this is a pattern which is frequently replicated in many ordinary, everyday conversations and which, if not corrected, has the potential to destroy any relationship. Every one of us already possesses the basic ingredients to be a good listener but mostly they lie dormant and suppressed within us. The International Listening Association maintain that fewer than 2% of people are ever taught how to listen effectively but my own view is that I think it is hardly anyone at all. The ability to listen is really a spiritual discipline that is surrounded by physical, emotional, rational and practical distractions. These distractions can be both internal and external so, although listening sounds simple, to become good at it, we must learn how to control and minimise our distractions so we can develop and strengthen our skills. Unfortunately, I don’t believe it is possible for us to get better at using the skills without learning how to minimise the distractions. Therefore, I encourage you to hold these two foundational principles in mind throughout this book:
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About the Book
The book will widen your understanding of the massive potential of Active Listening and teach you how to apply dozens of practical skills into your everyday conversations. It is a training manual and practical workbook for everyone who wants to improve their relationships with other people - whoever they are.
About the Author
“If only My people would listen to Me” (Psalm 81 v 13) Trevor Summerlin has held senior management positions in the Retail, Manufacturing and Leisure industries with experience throughout the UK, across Europe and in the USA. He qualified as a BASI Ski Instructor and English Ski Council Coach before being called into the Ministry as a Baptist Pastor. He gained his Masters Degree in Counselling and Psychology from the University of Wales and was appointed a Fellow of the Institute of Sales and Marketing Management and a Fellow of the Institute of Leadership and Management. He obtained his PG Diploma in Life Coaching from Coaching and Mentoring International and he is a CBT Psychotherapist. He trained with The Family Mediators Association and was accredited by the Legal Aid Board as a Family Law Mediator running his own company which specialised in Family Mediation, Counselling and Management Training. He has run his own private practice as a Christian Psychotherapist, Supervisor, Lecturer, Trainer and Consultant for nearly 50 years. He has worked with every imaginable difficulty in people from very different backgrounds using a therapeutic five-fold approach which incorporates the Physical, Emotional, Volitional, Rational, and Spiritual dimensions of each person. He makes his services available to people of any faith or of none. He has taught hundreds of courses and seminars in colleges across South Wales training vast numbers of people in the development of good listening skills whether for counselling, for business, or for improving personal relationships. He has been a keen sportsman all his life but now enjoys watching others on television from the comfort of his armchair. Both he and his wife are now retired and live in South Wales, UK.