The Unspoken Truths About Addiction

But what if we are not ready to stop…. even though we want to. The truth is that we will never feel because ready is not a feeling it’s a decision. Part of us is still deeply intimate with the high, the lifestyle that we think is free, the connections, the fast-track excitement or the escape from our reality. But it makes us feel disgraceful, guilty and shameful every single time we use. We know its wrong and that we are not meant to live like this but part of us still likes that. The truth is that sadly we have not suffered enough yet. Maybe our pain tolerance is incredibly high because of the trauma that we have suffered from. That means that our rock bottom is going to have to hit us hard for us to stop. We have come to believe that rock bottom is one big moment, one explosion, one consequence or one final fall but most rock bottom are made of a thousand tiny moments where we watched ourselves become someone that we didn’t recognize. There are days in active addiction when we wake up already defeated. We open our eyes and feel this heavy dread because we knew exactly what the day was going to consist of. Chasing, running, escaping and losing. As addicts we can all identify with the same feelings; shame, guilt, regret, worthlessness and heart crushing loneliness that we have felt at the lowest times in our life. Most people don’t understand why we would put ourselves through this type of torture, but so many of us have to suffer deep losses before we will finally give it up. We will literally lead a life of insanity, and nothing will change until we choose differently. Addiction is usually an attempt to fill a spiritual void. That void may stem from unprocessed trauma, longing for transcendence or escape from our current reality. Before healing can truly begin, we must ask ourselves, “what am I trying to forget, numb or silence.” We suffer deep emotional problems and have no means of dealing with them. Only when we confront and face our feelings, we can achieve true liberation from our addiction. We escape from our traumas by substituting addiction as a coping mechanism. Maybe you have experienced the loss of a partner, the loss of a child or parent, or maybe you have been physically, emotionally, and mentally abused. Trauma can also be as simple as the absence of someone you love. Whatever it is, we need to find out what we are still hanging onto and address it. The things that happened to us, the trauma that we endured was not our choice. The abuse, the neglect, the loss, was not our fault. We did not ask for the scars on our hearts or the nightmares that we still have. We come to realize that we don’t need to apologize for our traumas or what coping mechanisms we chose to survive. To break the cycle, we must consciously revoke our intentions. We must come to believe that we no longer need this false illusion of reality to survive. We must choose wholeness. Addiction often splinters the soul, part of our essence may still be stuck in moments of trauma, shame or emotional pain. But the moment we choose differently, we take our lives back. We cannot expect anyone to do the work for us, but we do need to heal in order to live our lives the way we were meant to. No one can save us from the knots and tangles that we have hand wove and no one else can erase the footprints left in our minds. The reality may not be fair or just, but we must put in the work to heal from our past and live a life that we deserve. We need to take our power back, and we can start to do that through our healing journey. When we have learned to accept the truth and ask for help, we can learn to change the way we think about it. The situation cannot be altered but our perspective can change our lives. Its going to be hard, perhaps even agonizing but what I can guarantee is, that you are not alone! The opposite of addiction is connection. During active addiction we feel misunderstood, rejected, abandoned, like there was something really wrong with us. But what we have come to realize is that recovery offers us connection with other like-minded people that understand the darkness of addiction and are willing to help lead us to freedom. It doesn’t matter how reckless our behavior was or things that we subjected ourselves to in order to maintain our relationship with our drug of choice, but we can all identify with the same feelings and emotions of misery and hopelessness. There is nothing we have done, no place we have been, no feeling we have felt that other recovering addicts won’t be able to identify with. Stop prolonging the start of your recovery by avoiding the pain. As long as you suffer in silence, you will continue to suffer. Its time to forgive yourself into freedom, many of us carry deep shame. This shame becomes a vibrational anchor, preventing healing. Forgiveness is the medicine that unlocks divine grace. The unknown can be terrifying because its outcome is unknown, but it isn’t always bad. Instead of surviving life in a constant circle of reoccurring events and expecting something to change is insane. Its time to find our faith and step into the unknown. We have already given up everything for one thing and that will ultimately lead us to jails, institutions or death. Let’s flip the script and start living our lives wholeheartedly, all we have to do is give up one thing to receive everything in return. Be courageous and have faith to take that first step into the light and trust that it will guide you into the life that you have always deserved. The most important thing to remember is that you are not alone, and in order to be successful on this self discovery journey we must Anchor into community and higher purpose. No one heals alone. Addiction thrives in isolation but dissolves in the presence of unity. Our personal growth brings clarity and perspective to our lives. We no longer regret our addiction because without it we would not have the knowledge, wisdom and power to not only help but possibly save another addict’s life. Addiction is not failure. It’s a sacred detour that humbles us and brings forth a spiritual awakening into lives. Healing is never just about quitting a substance. It’s about becoming the version of you who no longer needs it. That version is already within you, waiting to be remembered. Overcoming significant challenges leads to more profound fulfillment, growth and success because hardships and difficult times build character, perseverance, and offer unique, valuable experiences, leading to deeper satisfaction, and achievement. Hardship isn’t just a barrier but a catalyst for greater glory and reward.