The World is Against Me

Chapter one The clock kept its rhythmic beat as Larry sat pondering his day and the events that were, indeed, quite dramatic. He let out a plaintive sigh and turned back to write more in his journal before going to bed. His wife Beth gone to bed early, which was a bit odd, but she was tired and knew that Larry could be difficult when he was “in a mood” which he definitely was. Larry had kept a journal over the past 25 years or so, and he was faithful to write at least once or twice a week. Tonight, he was remembering the incident at work and how his temper, again, was the culprit that probably would cost him another job. His grandfather’s words came to mind: “I’m a stranger here, but God is my helper.” Grandpa Lonnie was his mom’s father. He died when she was a baby, and so, neither his mom or Larry ever knew him. He did however, have writings his grandfather had left. These words were a comfort to him always, and now they seemed to give him some needed consolation and courage. He was glad that his grandfather knew the Lord and that he relied on spiritual guidance and direction rather than looking to the world for assistance. The Word of God had led to Larry’s changed life—that spiritual conversion, or repentance, was from his consistent intake of scripture in the early 1980’s (along with the foundational Christian influence of his parents and also the prayers of his local church home). Looking back on his life, Larry saw that the Lord was, indeed, working for his good; but it would never have occurred to Larry that to face some of the challenges, and meet with the obstacles that he dealt with were all part of the Lord’s plan for his good. Larry could relate to Dan Fogelberg’s lyrics that say: I have these moments all steady and strong I’m feeling so holy and humble The next thing I know I’m all worried and weak And I feel myself starting to crumble These words from Fogelberg’s song Part of the Plan speak to the spiritual plan the Lord has for each one of us as we all go through the inevitable ups and downs in life. Larry’s life was kind of uneventful until that fateful day in April 1979 when a car accident almost killed him. Somehow, within the mystery of God, he was supposed to have gone through this major setback that left him with a disability (a disability the medical professionals didn’t alert him to). The car accident caused Larry to have broken ribs, a ruptured spleen, and a brain contusion. The doctors told him he would be fine in a few weeks/months. Apparently, unbeknownst to the doctors, his brain contusion left him with a mild traumatic brain injury (MTBI) and a changed personality. This disability would follow him for the rest of his life. To fall through the cracks, so to speak, was hard for Larry to believe (concerning the doctors’ misdiagnosis). Again, this was part of the plan, and the Lord’s ways are not our ways (Isaiah 55:8). In the fall of 1979 Larry returned to college and fell into a deep depression. His classes were weighing on him, he wasn’t sure of his future, and life just didn’t make any sense. He attempted to leave the troubled world he knew by driving his car into a tree. He survived the suicide attempt and this time sustained a broken hip, internal injuries and a broken nose. Larry planned his next suicide attempt as he lay in the hospital bed with his right leg in traction. An insurance representative brought papers for him to sign which somehow would relieve the insurance company of any extended responsibility that might be due to that first car accident in April. More depression followed, but in the spring of 1980, a new, bold Larry, who had no fears, was living it up and on his own for the first time. He had a new apartment and a new Ford Mustang and his life was good, so it seemed. So, this bold, now quite outspoken young man, would face some conflicts…and he did so in very inappropriate ways. His personality change would continue to haunt him. Larry wrote, 1-5-04: “The words are still ringing inside the halls of Techno Woods, ‘Get out of here! You’re fired!’ Now, will those same words, or words to the same effect, be heard tomorrow morning. It was the same story—problems with co-workers, that were the source of Larry’s employment woes. He replayed again, for the umpteenth time, those words his team leader said to him: ‘Larry the whole world Isn’t against you.’” Larry knew what scripture revealed: “…the world hated them because they are not of the world…” (John 17:14). The world marches to the beat of a different drummer—the drum beat of the evil one (Satan). That is why Christians are hated by the world. The world is at odds with the Word of God, and seeks to discount the Lord and His great works. Larry knew this and he also knew what his team leader was driving at. He was assuring Larry that the workers at Techno Woods were not out to get him. Larry also knew what had taken place over those ten years in the cabinet shop. It was not his imagination. Although, he had some good friends there, he also had some antagonists. Now, as a temporary worker at a local factory, he was facing a similar scenario. “Maybe it’s time to do some research,” he wrote in early 2005, after he had learned about his disability. He was unaware of this up until this time. He had learned that the brain injury he suffered in the car accident in 1979 was to blame for this lingering struggle to control his temper.