My Cup Runs Over
Reflections While Parenting
by
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My expectations determine my responses. This has been the most important lesson for me as a parent. I should not be governed by my expectations for how I want something to occur. I should manage my expectations and be open to see where God is working in the moment. A parent’s life is interruptible. Things will rarely unfold as desired. How I respond in those times exposes my heart and teaches me as much about myself as it does of those around me. When my expectations are misplaced, I will personalize conflict, disruption, misbehavior, miscommunication and make it about me.
When my expectations are not hanging on what I want, but are offered up to God, I am free from the burden of thinking I can control the outcome. I can rest in God’s power. I am able to enjoy my kids, even their mistakes or flaws. My kids are a blessing to me, but they are not here to serve me. It is a relationship. I am called to serve them as Jesus has served me – with unconditional grace and love. Enjoyment removes the work from acts of service. When you love someone, it becomes a delight to serve them. I see enjoyment as a combination of two of our values: gratitude and fun. When I lose the thread of the larger context and how blessed I am, I will not be operating out of gratitude and my heart becomes temperamental. A quick prayer can shift my perspective and motivation in a heartbeat, opening up the door to enjoyment.
My effectiveness in parenting is contingent on my self-control, which starts with my expectations. I am more effective when I am enjoying where God has me. When I am living with gratitude, fun and love, not frustration and worry. I am able to respond to what God is doing in me, in them, around us when I am thinking of myself less and enjoying Him more.
Expectations –> Enjoyment –> Effectiveness
It is helpful for me to take a mental step back when I find myself with four crying kids while we are trying to take a walk on the beach and everyone’s strength suddenly wilted in the sun and they are unable to lift their own legs to take one more step. Or when I wanted to practice the guitar but the kids are fighting over a singular stick in the backyard and I realize the baby has taken all of our dirty utensils out of the dishwasher and strewn them around the house. I ask myself: what are my expectations right now? What is the family goal? And are these two aligned?
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About the Book
There is grace and blessing in the midst of the messes and spills. My Cup Runs Over is an introspective examination of the experience of a new parent and his personal journey of growth alongside his growing family. Samuel shares his experiences and insights, often learned the hard way, of being shaped by his children and refined through the humbling act of parenting. His book sheds light on the overlooked and under-appreciated perspective of living at the pace of a toddler and rekindling wonder in the world at our fingertips. It is a timely message in this busy, distracted age to slow down, be present with your family and be open handed with your expectations. God is always working and always parenting all of us all the time.
About the Author
Samuel Corey is a grateful father of four (and counting) incredible children and husband to an amazing woman. He serves as a civil engineer in the U.S. Navy. He spends his free time tossing kids into beds, waves, snowbanks, you name it. This is his first book.