Goodnight Kevin, We’ll See You in the Morning

I see myself entering eternity. My life's work here is now complete. Eternity holds so much light, so much warmth, so much love. All anticipation of this moment has reached culmination as I enter my eternal rest. All heartache, tears, and pain have been left behind. I stand in astonishment as the warm, loving, and light-filled breeze of eternity reaches into every fiber of my being, leaving me frozen in awe, the joy all-consuming—overwhelming—like no earthly joy.
And then I see a tiny form running across a heavenly field, bouncing and floating with joy and light unlike anything I’ve ever seen on earth. There is so much joy. So much peace. The little form runs toward me, the light of heaven shining through his thick locks of golden hair. Heaven has elevated those locks to something even beyond the glory they seemed to hold in this life when he was referred to as ‘the little boy with the movie star hair’.
I hold my breath, completely overcome. This little one is my little boy. He has been healed. I finally get to see the reality of what my faith believed! He runs. He is light. He is love. He is joy. He is everything Heaven has given him! He is my little boy again.
He knows I am his mother, and he runs into my arms. Almost too awed even to speak, all I can do is reach out and catch him in a tight embrace – an embrace that I have only been able to imagine in my wildest earthly dreams. Overcome, I can barely gasp out a whisper.
“Kevin!”
His big, blue eyes no longer hold that dark shadow of pain and suffering. They hold only light and love. They shine and sparkle with a healing that can only be found in a heavenly eternity.
That ache buried deep within my soul that has been a part of me since I held him, dying in my arms, and then let him go, suddenly breaks to the surface and is healed with immediate perfection. If heaven holds tears at all, mine flow with fresh release. They are tears of joy, tears that cry out, forever leaving behind all heartbreak, all pain, leaving in their absence a gaping cavity—a cavity that is immediately healed through the power of heaven. Sorrow cannot exist here.
I hold my perfectly healed son tightly, amazed by his strength, his perfection. Suddenly, amid that embrace, I sense a presence unlike anything I’ve ever sensed. I look up, and my eyes meet the eyes of Jesus. My Savior. My rock. My refuge. My shelter in the storm. My Jesus! This moment transcends all the greatest moments and most profound emotion I have ever felt. He looks at me with such love, such power, such grace, such kindness. It is a look beyond the language of this world to describe.
He holds out his hand to me. I am now with my Savior forever. This life, this world has passed away. The years of tears, of poring over scripture, of seeking his guidance, his strength, of seeking to trust, of seeking to have faith, of struggling and often feeling overcome by sin – that is all in the past now.
Now I see my Savior face to face, and I realize something that brings fulfillment deeper than anything I have ever felt. Everything I have ever lived and gone through, any pain I have ever felt, tragedy I have ever endured, pales to mere insignificance in this moment. It has been worth every second of my life to be brought to this moment where I feel such love and healing, unlike anything I have ever felt before. It has been worth it all!
I have longed for and fantasized about this moment. All I have lived for, all I have battled for, all I have walked through. All pain, heartache, and loss. It has been worth it all. I am with my Savior forever.
I grasp my tiny son's hand in my own. His eyes are filled with heavenly excitement and wonder. He can’t wait to show me the eternal bliss he has been living in since his last agonizing breath on earth. Hand in hand, we follow our Savior into his kingdom to live with him forever – both of us perfectly healed for all of eternity.
I do not know how accurate that vision is, or if that is truly what Heaven will feel like, but it aligns with scripture for the most part, and it is stored within the most tender recesses of my soul – something I hold onto. A prize, if you will, a reason to keep living, to keep moving forward, to stay in the battle, to finish the race.