GET ME OFF THIS ROLLER COASTER!

I am thinking about all the mistakes I made in my life and how God in His infinite Mercy, healed me and is now using me for His Glory. I am not ruminating on those mistakes to make myself feel bad or bring up those feelings of failure, shame and guilt, although Satan attempts to attack me with those lies. But I am thankful to God that I have worked through them. I am 68 years old, so I am here to tell you it is never too late to prayerfully ask God to heal you and lead you on a journey closer to Him. I feel led, by God, to share my journey so that I can walk with you in yours.
I woke up several mornings, in my young adult life, feeling like I was on a roller coaster ride, with all its ups, downs, twists, loops and turns, barely hanging on to the handrail. I hate roller coasters, even strapped in, and I felt mine derailed several times along the way, leaving me depressed and hopeless. Although I never contemplated suicide, I wanted off the roller coaster of life and to stay in my own little self-made bubble, so I didn’t have to interact with anyone. It is exhausting to act like everything is great when you are emotionally in the toilet. I realized my life, as I saw it, broken, lost, and hopeless. After years on the un-tethered roller coaster, I decided enough was enough. It didn’t happen overnight. It was a process that took several years of reading, praying and persevering. I am obviously a slow learner but Praise God, He is patient and showered me with His Grace as I started my journey to completeness in Him. This is about that journey to get my life back from that chaotic carnival ride to a more peaceful one. Do not misunderstand me. Life, in general, is still a roller coast ride but with God truly at my side it is not as chaotic and much easier to handle.
I pray that experiencing this journey inspires you, gives you hope and guides you. I have started each chapter with a word of prayer to set the stage for the Holy Spirit to work. I also encourage you to use the journaling pages inserted at the end of each chapter for reflection and enlightenment in your own personal journey towards your closer life with Christ. May God Bless you and shower you with His bountiful Grace and Peace.

I can do all this through Him (Christ) who gives me strength. Phil 4:13 NIV
(non-italics, mine)