No Weapon Formed Against Me

PRINCIPLE 1 REALITY PRECEDES RECOVERY 1.1 Narcissism is Not Normal Sin is the primary instigator of human flaws. In a technology-driven era, narcissistic behavior has become normalized and oftentimes encouraged. Social media and other outlets downplay the harmful behaviors of manipulation, selfishness, gaslighting, and promiscuity. We are being taught that toxicity should be tolerated. Think of all the social media posts that turn controlling behavior into humor. The television shows that romanticize episodes of couples splitting up due to the spouse’s narcissistic temperament. Many celebrities are grandiose and given reverence by those who consume their music, movies, or podcasts. Our dating culture further enables romantic narcissistic relationships because we are stuck in a world of stagnant immaturity and selfishness - two major fuel sources for narcissistic relationships. As a generalization, the fuel sources may apply to both genders. This generalization may vary depending on the nature of the relationship. Women have romanticized narcissistic men because they love charisma and confidence. Manipulative words may go unnoticed, especially if they fill an absent father’s place. Men cling to narcissistic women because they are simple visual creatures. Manipulative words go unnoticed when they are spoken from a pretty face. Beyond the romantic context, narcissistic relationships can be found in any setting, including the workplace, school, or even at church. Depending on the context at hand, it could be difficult to recognize the signs of an abuser and a victim. Both men and women can accidentally fall victim to narcissists because many of us have the tendency to overlook negative behaviors and see the good in people. We want to trust wholeheartedly and love blindly, all with pure intention. But what happens when someone you love does not have pure intentions? Some humans have legitimate mental illnesses that drive their other-than-pure intentions. While mental illness is not an excuse for a narcissist or anyone else with a personality disorder, it is a factor that should be considered with grace, which will be discussed in later chapters. Narcissists usually present a fake version of themselves to the world as part of their unhealthy psychological state. If they were genuine, their true colors would prevent them from gaining access to you. Their temporary alter ego is then displayed to attract what they want. This phenomenon is what my mom would call “false advertisement”. Initially you experience a beautiful lie, only to be bamboozled by their true colors over time. In a single word, the false advertisement phenomenon is deceitful. Narcissistic people are skilled at using the weapon of deceit. Their plan of attack usually involves a love bomb with rounds of metaphorical 9-millimeter bullets in the months following. Fortunately, the armor of God will protect you from weapons of narcissism. While the world may say Christian values are not needed in the fight against narcissism, I can assure you, fighting a battle against satanic behavior is much harder without God in your corner. 1.2 You are Not Crazy Oftentimes the narcissist will spread lies about us to other people, or lie straight to our face. The lies might be so influential that you begin questioning reality. This might be enhanced if this person tries to shift blame and avoid accountability. They may have even told you - the person reading this book about narcissism - that you are the narcissist. Not them. Let this be an affirmation to anyone who has been gaslit into believing that you are the narcissistic victimizer. If you are... Reading this book Questioning your reality Grappling with your self-worth Acknowledging the hurt And desire to heal from the hurt Then you are most likely not a narcissist. As a quick side note, before continuing on, make sure you have a strong understanding of the terms listed at the beginning of the book. Terminology is explained prior to discussing the principles so you can develop a clearer understanding of what you may have experienced. In order to defend yourself from narcissistic tactics, you must first understand what the weapons of narcissism are. The tactics of a narcissist have the potential to induce emotional delusion and dissuade your sense of reality. Creating a foundation of awareness is done in an effort to remove the loathing and blame that you may feel towards yourself. Most people do not understand that they are part of a narcissistic dynamic until after leaving the situation, so confusion is a common residual feeling in the aftermath. However, the inability to recognize and understand a narcissist are signs that you do not speak the language of the Devil. This is a good thing! A good-hearted person will struggle to understand a person with bad behavior.