Misunderstood
An Introvert’s Journey of Discovering Biblical Friendship
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Make new friends, but keep the old. One is silver and the other is gold.1
For years, I was probably (and rightfully) labeled a snob. I was misunderstood. Those around me didn’t know that I did not know how to make friends. I’m an introvert. That may surprise most people because my chosen profession for almost thirty years has been in pharmaceutical sales. I have thrived in that role because I have been well trained, studied my products ad nauseum, and have an “agenda” when I speak with my physicians and other customers. It’s easy to hide my introversion in my work life until I am asked to go to a dinner or a sales meeting and have to talk to people outside of my comfort zone. I am definitely not the queen of small talk. I tend to find an ally (somebody I know, regardless of whether I barely know them or have known them for a while). I cling to them with a death grip as we “work” the room together. I am horrible with names because I am so panicked during the introduction process about what I am going to say next that I miss their name. Can you relate?
Growing up, I attended three different grade schools, two junior highs, and two high schools. Moving is hard on a kid. Starting over, settling into a new school, and making new friends is tough. Girls can be mean. (I suppose boys can be as well, but I have no experience there.) The kids had all grown up together and had been friends all their lives. I was always the new kid, the invader. If you read my first book, Imago Dei, Seeing Yourself Through Your Father’s Eyes, you know that I have had self-esteem issues all my life. I believed the enemy’s lies that I was unworthy and unlovable, and that belief had a profound impact on my ability to make friends. As I said before, I just didn’t know how.
I just saw a meme on Facebook that said, “How introverts make friends: 10 percent don’t, and for the other 90 percent, an extrovert adopted them.” I laughed out loud because that has truly been my experience in many of life’s situations. (Yay for those extroverts who have adopted me over the years!) This friend thing has always eluded me. I finally found my tribe in my early forties. So much wasted time. This year, I asked God to take me on a journey to discover what biblical friendship looks like. I want Him to show me examples of friendship in the Bible. I want Him to teach me what friendship is and what friendship is not. I want Him to lead me to becoming a better friend.
This is my journey. Come along with me and learn about true biblical friendship.
As iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend. (Proverbs 27:17 NLT)
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About the Book
When you were in school, did you panic when you walked into the cafeteria because you didn’t know who to sit with? Do you feel lonely and awkward in a crowded room? When meeting new people, do you immediately forget their names because you are so panicked about what you will say next that you don’t listen well? You may be an introvert if you answer “yes” to any of these questions. I am, in fact, a card-carrying introvert. Making new friends has always been a difficult task for me. I asked God a year ago to take me on a journey to discovering true, Biblical friendship. I asked Him to show me in His Word different examples of friendship. I asked Him to show me what friendship is and what friendship is not. Finally, I asked Him to teach me how to be a better friend. Come along with me as we discover together how to step out of our collective comfort zones and into the friendship zone.
About the Author
Donna Culpepper has been a lifelong Jesus girl, minus a ten-year hiatus of doing life her own way. She is a mother to two amazing young men, mother-in-law to two daughters-in-love, and has two feisty, funny, fabulous grandchildren. Donna lives with her husband, Steve, and Rudy, the dog, in the foothills of the Ozark Mountains of Northwest Arkansas. This is her second book.