Groomed by Sin, Tailormade by God

My Stony Ground Experience The very first memory I have of “God” took place when I was very young – about pre-school age. By this time my mother was separated. There were three of us kids. My brother was a toddler and my sister and I were preschoolers. We were outside playing while the adults were inside talking. It seemed like there were a house full. I remember riding a bike, or some riding toy, past the open front door, and through the screen I heard them mention someone by the name of “God”. At that very moment – at such a tender age, I had a hunger to know who “God” was. I don’t remember the moment my mother received Christ but, I remember the time we first started going to church. I remember being so intrigued by the teachings about God and His son, Jesus. I remember the little Sunday School cards that we got every Sunday, that had the lesson, scriptures, and pictures for that Sunday’s lessons. There was always something new to learn about God and Jesus. I don’t remember how I acted about Sunday School when my mama said it was time to go but, I do remember loving it while I was there. Around the age of eight years old, I was baptized. My siblings and I sang in the kids’ choir, we played in the skits, and we went to church most days of the week. Though we often complained about going to church so much, it was our life, and I had a certain fondness for it. Then, something happened… LIFE… teen years and young adulthood brought about a change. Suddenly, all of the excitement and enthusiasm over church began to dissipate. Nevertheless, that “still, small voice” never left me, and He was always whispering to my soul. By the time I went off to college, I had made up in my mind that I was not going back to church. I began to live a wild and promiscuous life my freshman year, that I suppressed while I was home for the summer. When it was time to return to school for my sophomore year, I had the most unexpected situation to occur. Although I had pre-registered, I could not start my classes. I had been selected to be audited by Financial Aid, and in order to take my classes I had to either produce copies of my prior year’s tax return to Financial Aid or pay the tuition for that quarter. I could do neither. My family could not afford to pay the tuition, and I did not have copies of my tax return. Remember, 1988 was an era prior to mass digitization so, it was important to keep paper copies and records. Unfortunately, there was a lot about personal and financial business that I didn’t know and that those close to me didn’t know to teach me. Needless to say, I didn’t get to stay in school that quarter. Remember, I was determined to stay away from church, which meant staying away from home. So, I got a job as a waitress at a pizza restaurant there in Milledgeville, Georgia; and I lived from pillar to post, trying to stay out of Macon, Georgia, and Cassandria Gayle’s (my mother) home. After a few bad living situations, I finally got my own apartment near the railroad tracks. I didn’t have much else… no electricity, no dishes, no food, not even a bed in which I could rest my head. I remember calling my mama one day, after I had not called home for a few months, and I asked her what she had cooked for dinner. She said that she had cooked collard greens, macaroni and cheese, and ham. I wanted to burst into a flood of tears. Oh, how I wanted to be home eating that dinner with my family! Sometime after that call, one day out of the blue, my mama showed up at my apartment with her best friend. I had no idea how they found me, and I didn’t care. My mom said, “I come to take you home and I’ll fight you if I have to!” Little did she know how glad I was that they had come to get me, and she would get no fight from me. We packed up what little I had, and I went home with my mama! Once I got home, my trek back to Jesus began. By September of 1996, I had completely surrendered my life to Christ, and it was the best thing I could ever have done. However, the best was still yet to come. It seemed as if I matured quickly in my Christianity. God’s word was exciting to me again, and I received blessing after blessing. Being in Christ was my life and it forever would be. I was so happy but, little did I know that “having an umbrella didn’t stop the rain”, and I was about to experience a storm.