OUT OF THE DARKNESS

When I got out of the hospital the first time I went to my parents’ house with my kids. I spent a lot of time up in my room alone. About 3 weeks after being out of treatment, one specific incident I remember was the feeling that there was some kind of a “thing” or “presence” that lived in the upper corner of my room. I was half awake while I was lying on my bed, but I felt it was there and it talked to me. It said to me “So when does the deadly fun begin?” At that moment I sat bolt upright in my bed. All I saw was a vision of the face of Anonymous. You know the mask the guy wore in the movie “V for Vendetta”. Yeah, that’s what I saw in my head. It was as if it wanted me to start some “fun” as it called it. Almost instinctively, I walked over to where my medications were, picked up a bottle of pills (really strong pills, Xanax, I think) and opened the bottle to take them. Then I heard another voice in my head. This time it was loud, and confident, but calm and said “No! You can’t do that! It’s not your time yet.” So I promptly complied and closed the bottle and put it away and went down stairs where there were other people present. I told my Counselor who recommended I be admitted for inpatient treatment again for a short stay. I agreed.