Good, But Not Good For You

Introduction “For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh.” - Ephesians 5:31 God established marriage at the beginning of creation. This shows that marriage is a part of God’s original design for humanity, symbolizing the unity and companionship between a man and a woman. God had even deeper plans for this institution: Two people, previously chasing one thousand each, now coming together to chase ten thousand. That math does not make sense, but it shows the impact and increase a kingdom marriage can make. Some months before I entered high school, I started my first real relationship. It was exciting, we were good. I slowly introduced him to my friends, sisters, and cousins until almost everyone knew of my relationship. Of course, I could not dare tell my mom or any of my aunties and uncles because how dare you have a boyfriend in high school in an African home? You know how African parents don’t want you dating but ask you why you are not married when you start getting much older, right? Yeah! I kept my relationship a secret from them but broadcasted it to my peers. Everyone in my class knew his name. I knew I had found the one: someone who treated me right and was intelligent, amongst other great qualities. Our relationship continued throughout high school: we knew we were meant for each other and would someday get married. Then something happened: After I completed high school and went to the university, I encountered Jesus Christ and decided to dedicate my whole life to him, withholding nothing. At this point, I decided to live a holy life, avoiding sin. I talked to him about it, and with some hesitation and convincing, he finally decided to give his life to Jesus as well. This was great news as we both started serving the Lord at our local church, adhering to scripture. As time passed, I knew this guy was the one for me, and no one could tell me otherwise. I was willing to sacrifice everything for our relationship. My commitment remained even after I traveled to the United States of America, as I knew he would join me, which he later did. After almost 6years in this relationship, I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that it would end in a forever-loving marriage, where we cherished each other till Jesus came. However, things started taking a downturn as I quickly realized that though he was a good guy, he wasn’t good for me. We were not a good fit for each other. I made a difficult decision to quit the relationship and ended up marrying someone else. We’ve been married for almost seven years, and I can confidently say that he is God’s perfect will for my life. The bliss we enjoy, life’s challenges notwithstanding, is so beautiful. He brings out the best in me, and we complement each other so well. He even has some qualities I didn’t know I needed in a spouse. Many people make the mistake of marrying someone solely because they love them, the person is good, or because theyattend church, neglecting vital issues that can ultimately tear them apart. In this book, I will give you five things that must be in place if you want to marry your perfect fit, ensuring a glorious ever after. But wait! Let’s tackle a few things first CHAPTER ONE RETHINKING PERFECT When you first saw the subtitle of this book—A Guide to Choosing a Perfect Life Partner—you might have thought, “Why is she talking about perfection when no one is perfect?” When I say “perfect,” I don’t mean someone without flaws. I’m referring to someone who fits you perfectly. Everyone has flaws and weaknesses. Instead of seeking a partner without any imperfections—a search that could last a lifetime—focus on finding someone who complements you. With the right person, imperfections become less significant, allowing you to navigate life’s challenges together with ease and resilience. Think of it like a puzzle: each piece has its own shape, but it fits perfectly when the right pieces come together. Approach finding a partner with a realistic mindset. Expecting your partner to be flawless is setting yourself up for disappointment. Instead, focus on what truly matters while being clear about your deal-breakers. This approach is key to building a fulfilling, lasting relationship.