The Business That is Not Business—Marriage

What it takes to marry To marry does not only take being a woman or man of the right age and loving each other. It takes courage, commitment, maturity, selflessness, sacrifice, resources, and focus; these are some of the most important things but not exhaustive. It is not a matter of acquiring a legal status of being referred to as a married person but rather a lifetime journey that needs a compatible partner who can walk the walk with you. Hence the significance of making the right choice. Through this book we will learn more about how to approach this mammoth uphill task. The path shone through this book might not be ideal but it would assist one to navigate the marital maze. If the navigation is done well this would assist one to build strong family base that would nature and nurture responsible citizens of tomorrow. Then if we have responsible citizens, we can be a prosperous nation. If this can be carried from generation to generation the world might be a better place to live in. This is a dream I urge nations to pursue and bring it forth with intend. Why marry? “…The interesting and loveliest thing about marriage is that it is a choice. Whenever one makes a choice, it brings in the reality of opportunity cost, that by choosing one you are forgoing the other hence the word choice. This means that opportune moment of making the same choice under same circumstances, time and same subjects is likely not to repeat. Therefore, if you choose A to be your marital spouse you are foregoing B, C or whoever who could have been your potential spouse. Therefore, there must be a good reason why A and not any other to avoid remorse.” Marrying is an ideal thing to do but marriage itself (has challenges) is not ideal. We all understand/know that it is good to marry the right person and it is bad to marry the wrong person but the problem arises in how do you hit the bullseye. Those who play darts know how difficult it is to hit the red middle dot in that game. The precision of hitting rightly on bullseye is always a challenge. In business before we start one, we do research to identify the need for our product or service in the market; if the need is high, we know the business is likely to be highly viable. Though this does not guarantee that the status quo might not change. The reality is as time goes on, the market forces and needs might change and at times our product might be obsolete. When it comes to marriage, ideally God want us to marry and love without any conditions, because it would be bad to love conditionally in marriage. Loving conditional would be like market forces and needs that might change with time. These conditions might even be weaponized to manipulate the other party. As much as market forces and needs changes in business set up are subject to change, things also happen in real life. If one marries for beauty or handsomeness, social, economic status or whatever condition or state, with time those factors might be eroded or change. Accidents or sickness might occur that may steal the beauty, handsomeness or economic status then what more is left to sustain your love if it mainly depended on those. Just imagine if your marriage was anchored on your beauty and body shape then an accident deforms your face and leaves you wheel chair bound. Now what happens to your marriage?” We know marriage can be a struggle. The list of factors that can squeeze up a couple and ending up crushing a potential marriage or marriage are endless but what matters most is to step into marriage expecting and ready for more challenges; hence “…at the worst if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly”, as per Theodore Roosevelt words. Indeed, one has to give it his/her best shot. This can only happen when one knows the reason why he/she intends to get married or why she/he got married. The why? is the rock, the foundation and indispensable fuel. The why enhances your vision and is the base for your goals; and this would motivate you to fight hard in the boxing ring of marriage challenges to achieve your vision. It is such circumstances that test your “Why?”. There are a lot more situations that comes with marriage hence “Your Why?” matters most. The whys of the two parties should be converging towards one goal, in this case it would be able to quench the thirsty and cease the fire for both parties. Otherwise, if the “whys?” are divergent, they are fighting a losing battle. We all know people marry for countless various reasons which is their why? But reasons for marrying should all be enveloped by grace, love, maturity, respect and good intention which are the fabrics that knit and stitches of marriage throughout its life span. The love should be encapsulated with empathy and respect. Love as a necessary daily dose in marriage is always a choice one makes. It is very vital to choose to love and respect, even when it does not seem to be the easier choice all the time. There might be other reasons for marrying that includes religious, cultural, personal, comparative needs and many other but if any marriage lacks “grace, loving and respecting the person you are marrying” I am convinced that the marriage would be hardly sustained. Such a marriage can be argued to be marrying for wrong reason(s). We all know that marriage is a choice and love should be part of that primary reason or choice. Love spiced with wisdom are the best lubricant that turns the marital wheel on daily basis and the compass that directs focus in marriage. Positive emotions and values add weight to marriage and give it wings to fly.