MOAN

Chapter 18: We Are NOT Okay

My research on the topic of suicide started shortly after Jamie’s death. I needed to understand what made him vulnerable to self-harm in order to help my daughter through the healing process. Honestly, I also needed to absolve my own guilt that I should have seen something, done something more to protect him. These are the normal, but mistaken thoughts we all work through as we come to grips with traumatic loss.
Although there were a multitude of websites and online resources on this topic, I focused on understanding the clinical findings of scientific research. At the time, my learning curve was steep and scary as I entered a world completely different than what I expected. In fact, my assumptions about suicide were just plain wrong - although consistent with the assumptions of most people.
In writing this book a decade later, I again explored recent literature hoping time had revealed new secrets of prevention. Although there are exciting developments, we still don't have a solid understanding of this illness.
The current literature frames the causes, treatments, and prevention of suicidal behavior into the following three categories:
1. Ideation: those who think about or plan a suicide.
2. Attempt: those who make an attempt with the intent to die but do not die.
3. Completed: those who actually die from a self-inflicted injury.
The following diagram published by The National Institutes of Mental Health (NIMH) shows how these three behaviors interact with one another. (Suicide, 2023) It is remarkable to note that the area where the smallest circle overlaps the largest circle represents the suicides that shock us the most, like Jamie. These adults, 263,000 souls, had no previous plan to commit suicide yet still attempted to take their own life that year.
The following is also from the NIMH (Suicide, 2023) and compares the suicide rates of males and females of different age groups. I was shocked both then and now when I finally understood the following:
* Both males and females think (e.g., ideate) about suicide at roughly the same rate.
* Females are more likely to attempt suicide. However, females often use less-than-lethal methods (e.g., pills) for their first attempt. Often they are discovered pre-death and taken for medical treatment. Opportunities for medical intervention lead to mental health treatment which can delay or prevent future attempts of suicide.
* Males are four times more likely to die from suicide than females. Their preference to use more lethal weapons (instead of pills) usually results in death on the first attempt.
* Males are more likely than females to take action when they experience suicidal ideation. This is sometimes attributed to perceived lack of impulse control in males compared to females.
* Rates of suicidal ideation, attempts, and even completions are likely far greater than actually reported. Social stigma and the structure of death data are believed to limit the acknowledgement and reporting of suicides.
* The highest rates of completed suicide by far are among elderly men over the age of 75; (40.5 suicides per 100,000 population). This number is higher than all female age groups combined. It is also nearly 40% larger than any other male age group. Perhaps these are elderly men who chose dignity over hospice or the vulnerability of medical care. Likely they also want to avoid the financial burden of terminal illness for their family; or conversely, gift their family financial security instead of end-of-life drama.
It is really hard to comprehend that as a young white male, Jamie was FAR MORE LIKELY to die by his own hand than the hand of another. Among his high school peer group, he was three times more likely to die from self-harm than girls his same age. The data also confirms he was at great risk of successfully killing himself with no previous warning to friends and family.
As I began to understand these statistics, I didn't know whether to feel a shameful sense of personal relief that there was probably no opportunity to intervene on Jamie's behalf; or a sense of absolute terror for what this meant for my own young son. It is critically important to note that since I first studied the topic of suicide in 2011, rates have only grown rapidly especially among youth, adolescent, and young adult age groups.
A recent survey of high school students conducted by the Pew Charitable Trusts reveal that the rate of those who "seriously considered suicide" within the past year has increased from 16% in 2011, to 22% presently (Akkas, 2023). Among this same group, 18% said they made a suicide plan, and 10% reported at least one attempt.
22% of high school students seriously considered suicide; 18% made a plan; and 10% attempted
It is believed that this rapid increase is largely due to the introduction of social media in 2012. Researchers also suspect that the effect of COVID lockdowns and repeated isolation in recent years will drive those rates even higher year after year.
Said a different way, 22% of my teenage son's classmates have considered suicide. In a high school of 1,000 students, 220 students report suicidal behavior; 100 young souls have made an attempt on their own life. This should break every heart!
The toxic culture promoted by modern society has pushed all of us in the direction of hopeless suffering, despair, and darkness. In our state of collective intellect and enlightenment, we have moved away from our origins which fostered belief in a God of provision, protection, hope, happiness, and peace. In our ignorance, arrogance, and insolence, we created the systems and structures of technology, government and media that spew hatred, self-promotion, division, and strife. WE, the current generations, created the mental pandemic from which we all suffer.
In America 2024, the culture lures us into the dark, false promises of entitlement, self centeredness, sexuality, anger, dissentions, divisions, pride, greed, lust, jealousy, covetousness, and ingratitude to name but a few. None of these behaviors are consistent with what the Bible teaches brings true contentment, joy, and happiness. Not one.