Moral Injury

CHAPTER 2 PASTOR AS SOUL CARE PROVIDER I start this chapter by telling you a story. I am doing this because I want you, hopefully, to begin and end your reading of this book with one point made clear: You, as a minister of spiritual care, are the one who can offer a hope and a future to military veterans seeking to return from serving our country, but who carry with them the soul wounds that we call moral injury. There was a young man, Tony, who grew up in New York City. He was of Italian descent by birth, by actions, and by stereotype. At 17, Tony got into a great deal of trouble, and he was given a choice: join the Army and go to war or accept his conviction and go to jail. He chose the Army and was sent to Korea. Tony made it through basic training and became a “ground pounder” in the infantry. His Italian attitude, however, did get him in some trouble. Tony was a short man at about 5 feet 6 inches, and as the assistant gunner, he was assigned to carry the machine gun. The 31-pound M1919 machine gun required a five-man crew: the squad leader; the gunner (who fired the gun, and when advancing carried the tripod and a box of ammunition); the assistant gunner (who helped feed the gun, and who carried it and a box of spare parts and tools); and two ammunition carriers. As a 5’ 6” assistant gunner, this was quite a load to run up and down the hills of Korea. Tony’s personality did not help his plight, as he “discussed” his assignment with his sergeant. The soul-wounding event for this young, mouthy Italian came one day when the sergeant told Tony to go “clear” an area before the squad moved forward. Clearing an area meant to go out and kill all living things in that area to allow the squad to move forward safely. Tony did this, except for one very old man. Tony encountered this elderly man in his grass hut home, on his knees in prayer. Tony saw no danger from this old man, so he left him undisturbed in prayer. Tony was not a religious man himself, but he respected this old man’s faith. When Tony reported back to the sergeant that he had completed the assignment, he was asked if he cleared out everything. Knowing Tony’s personality, the sergeant very likely knew that he needed to confirm what “completed” meant. Tony then told the sergeant about the old man, but that he had determined the old man was not a threat. In disagreement with Tony’s assessment, the sergeant pulled his revolver, pointed it at Tony’s forehead, and said, “He dies, or you die.” Tony went back and shot the old man. As Tony shot him, the man was still on his knees praying, but he stopped to beg Tony not to kill him as Tony entered the hut. Seventy years later, Tony had been through three car accidents where he swerved off the road because a real-looking image of the old man kneeling on his car’s hood appeared in front of Tony as he drove down the road. This is a soul wound resulting from a moral injury. My experience as a chaplain informs me that mental health methods typically attempt to help these wounded souls face their demons and cope with their memories by using medication and by experience reframing. However, this does not help the souls of these warriors to move forward with renewed lives. My experience says that renewal is a spiritual transition which occurs when old things are acknowledged, but through Christ, all things are made new (2 Cor 5:17). Through this book, we will explore how soul-wounding is not new in the history of war, and how ministers can offer a journey from spiritual death into a new life beyond war. Pastor as Person To begin this, I am going to start with us: the pastor as person. We desire to help, but are we ready spiritually? Are we ready emotionally? Our initial answer is, “Yes!” However, do we have the understanding that we need to answer the call of our congregants who are returning from war? We know how to proclaim God’s word, and to spend time in prayer. We know how to participate in the very important rituals of life, such as marriages, births, life crises, and deaths. However, the ministry that I will discuss here is hard because it involves events outside these experiences. I believe that all of our personal stories of faith are theological, because they come from who we were created to be, from our life experiences, and from our beliefs about God. Theology speaks of our deeply held values, such as the meaning of life, our ethical values, and our ultimate reality. Our stories as ministers include the creator and covenant, justice and hope, creation and fall, incarnation and Spirit, confession and rescue, forgiveness and reconciliation, redemption and grace, and, ultimately, God’s love. Each of these words may evoke a story from our lives, but these words also are words that are used to discuss theology. We encounter questions of “What is real?” as well as questions of our life calling or purpose. Stories help answer the question of “Who am I?” as we identify with characters in another person’s story. Our story, then, is a prime vehicle for understanding God and God’s truth. Our story is our most sacred possession because it speaks of what we think of ourselves and who God is in our lives. Stories allow us to glimpse what we believe that mere words cannot convey. Stories reflect society and the way that we believe it functions. Until we awaken to our story’s meaning and the power that it brings to bear on our past, present, and future, we unknowingly minister to others based only on our story, and not always based on God’s story in our lives. We cannot avoid or dismiss the wounds from our own experiences; but how we acknowledge the past, and what we choose to focus on in the present, will determine how we live out God’s plan in the future. (1042 words)