Unshakable

Introduction

“God will not permit trouble to come upon us unless He has a specific plan by which great blessings can come out of the difficulty.”
—Peter Marshall


Despite all my personal and professional achievements, I kept asking God for my next steps. There was still a persistent emptiness I could not fill. Although I had learned more about Him and His ways, I felt I needed something else. At the time, my physical health was challenged. I was dealing with nutritional deficiencies, late disseminated Lyme disease, multiple sclerosis, and constant fatigue. I felt like a whirlwind had passed over me, and I felt my heart and soul bleeding. In my prayers, I told God, “Don’t hide your face from your servant, for I am in distress. Answer me speedily! Draw near to my soul and redeem it” (Psalm 69:17–18, WEB).
During the frigid Indianapolis winter of 2012, I found myself in the story of a first-grade girl who was one of my clients. I felt like I was listening to parts of my story, which hit me hard. Her words and the circumstances she described were very similar to mine. Amid this, I asked God why He was bringing this up again. But God is faithful to His promises: “For I will restore health to you, and I will heal you of your wounds,” says Yahweh” (Jeremiah 30:17, WEB).
Three years later, in July of 2015, I met a lady in New York through my talent of connectedness. This talent allows me to be a bridge builder in relationships and situations, partly because I firmly believe there’s purpose in everything. We discovered similar interests during our conversation. I explained to her my desire to find a Jewish Messianic congregation to observe how they conducted services. She expressed that she knew a congregation in Pennsylvania. We exchanged phone numbers and emails to keep in touch. In December, she sent me an email with information about a Messianic congregation in New York. God’s faithfulness surprised me again. It was about twenty minutes from my residence.
I was surprised because I had previously called them to inquire about other services but couldn’t contact anyone. I shared this with my husband, and we agreed to visit. We visited them in early January 2016. We received an invitation to attend a play in their place the following week. At the event, I won a ticket for another event they were hosting two weeks later. Then, at the second event, I read an announcement about a program they hosted for adult women who endure childhood trauma. My interest in a Messianic congregation made me understand that God was searching for me and connecting me with others for His purposes. At the time, I had been trying to hide an elephant in my life—trauma—and it was showing up in my health.
In my heart and soul, I knew that it was my time. God had shown me how His mercy healed distressed souls and wounded hearts. I contacted the program coordinator and eventually became part of a program to help adult women heal the trauma they carried from childhood. It is a topic that many of us prefer to hide because shame and guilt are often part of the equation. Most of the group had never shared what had happened to us. In my case, not even my husband of fifteen years knew until that moment. In time with this group, I realized God was pruning and healing me, cleansing my heart and soul of debris I did not know I carried with me.
The process allowed me to understand that I deeply loved others with damaged hearts, and He revealed harmful attachments by cutting them from my life for His purposes. God let me know how incongruent they were with my path, and for that and many other reasons, He moved me to unknown lands like His previous servants. The pruning has not been easy, but it has been necessary for my healing: “Every branch in Me that does not bear fruit, He takes away; and every branch that bears fruit, He prunes it so that it may bear more fruit” (John 15:2, NASB). I started connecting the dots of why God allowed me to interact with courageous individuals with distressed souls longing for new beginnings.
Spring approached, and nature’s beautiful revitalization felt different this time. I had changed. As a counselor, I was humbled by facing my unresolved issues and not just helping others. I was helping myself as well. My heart and soul had been bleeding spiritually and emotionally, which is sadly the reality for many professionals within the human behavior field. To give you a clear picture, my case resonated with one of the therapists who joined the group to assist us. As a result, the therapist could confront her reality and seek healing. Who knew God would use me in this way? But He specializes in using those like me to help others be restored.
This book is part of God’s redemptive work in my life. It’s like the art of kintsugi— something broken is being put back together with gold holding it together. With God’s intervention, each of us becomes a unique piece of art, different and with more than we had started.
Others will see how God has worked and created a new you, a unique piece of art from brokenness and imperfections. As part of this work, I share nuggets from my experience as a counselor and questions for you from my experience as a coach. The questions can be used to journal as you reflect on the information. With this book, I aspire to spread the news that hope and healing exist for all our hearts, souls, and bodies. God’s Word can help you heal yourself spiritually, emotionally, and physically. He wants all of us to experience that healing. Your healing is within your reach.