Chaos

CHAPTER 5: Allies
“Friendship will, indeed, inconvenience you. More so if you’re doing it right. If you’ve never been annoyed, put out, or interrupted by a friendship, then you’re likely holding out and missing out.”
(Lisa-Jo Baker, Never Unfriended, 72)
The Greeks used to use a strategy during battle called Hoplite. The idea was for each soldier to stand together as one tight unit—a shield in their left hand and a weapon in their right. The whole concept relied on trusting the man on one side to protect you as you protected the man on your other side. If everyone stood their ground, the results usually meant success, but if just one person failed, the whole unit could suffer. It could take just one to tear down the line of defense like a game of dominoes. To win, they must all stand together unshaken.
Talk about trust!
If it were me, I’d make sure the guy on my right liked me! He’d be the first person I’d buy a Christmas present for.
Somewhere over the years, the Christian community has forgotten this form of chivalry. The Hoplite concept has become ancient, foreign. When Chaos strikes, most step backward instead of forward. I wouldn’t feel right to put all the blame on them….maybe they’re too busy or at a loss for words and just don’t know what to say. I hope there’s a good reason. Sadly though, it sometimes takes a war to see who your real allies are.
I want to give a shout out to my family, friends, and supporters. They helped keep my head above water; they stood beside me with a shield in one hand and a spear in the other when I was too weak to move. It would have been easy to give up on me, but they chose to weather the storm. While I was in jail, I saw many guys who had no one to call or write or have come visit them—they were alone. Thankfully, my army continued to stand and fight while I was curled up in the fetal position. To these people, I owe my life.
I gave up. They did not.
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Mark 2:1-5 gives us an example of true friendship.
“A few days later, when Jesus again entered Capernaum, the people heard that he had come home. They gathered in such large numbers that there was no room left, not even outside the door, and he preached the word to them. Some men came, bringing to him a paralyzed man, carried by four of them. Since they could not get him to Jesus because of the crowd, they made an opening in the roof above Jesus by digging through it and then lowered the mat the man was lying on. When Jesus saw their faith, he said to the paralyzed man, “Son, your sins are forgiven.””
Mark 2:1-5 NIV

There were four friends; let’s just name them Chandler, Joey, Ross, and Rachel. Their pal was paralyzed. He was helpless, and I’m sure hopeless. When they heard that Jesus was in town, they did just like that youth group in Chicago—they decided to bring their friend to the Healer. They literally carried this guy to Him. It doesn’t say how many miles they carried him; it doesn’t really matter; what they carried was dead weight. They had obviously been eating their Wheaties. But more impressive than the physical strength it took to do such a task is the spiritual strength they had. I wonder if they had doubts and feelings of giving up? I guess it doesn’t matter. What matters is that they kept going. And I’m sure as they went, they sang, “I’ll be there for you...cause you’re there for me too!” #Friends
When they got there, one of them forgot to call ahead and make reservations—probably Chandler—because the place was packed and there was no room for them. Did they turn back? Nope. They were persistent. Like the students in Chicago, no wasn’t in their vocabulary; no just meant find another way. So, they lifted their friend up to the roof, tore it open, and lowered him to Jesus. I’d definitely trust these dudes as part of my Hoplite division!
The beginning of verse 5 is so powerful. Jesus saw their faith and because of it, their paralyzed friend was healed and delivered!
It is so easy to feel completely helpless and hopeless when Chaos strikes. One of the best strategies you can have when preparing for Chaos is to surround yourself with allies.
Chaos can cause paralysis and sometimes you need help being lowered to Jesus. I don’t believe isolation and Christianity can co-exist. We weren’t made to live in solitary confinement. We were designed to live in community. (Genesis 2:18-25 backs this up.) I’m not trying to sound contradictory to what I said about Jacob and Elijah earlier. There are important moments of intimacy that can only take place with just you and Jesus alone. This is why I believe Jesus went further into the Garden to pray, but please remember where He asked His disciples to be… close by.
In my favorite black-and-white film, the angel leaves the main character with an important message: “No man is a failure who has friends” (It’s a Wonderful Life). Ironically, he was told this just as his friends and family show up to save the day!
Please note that you can’t make your friends help you. You have no control of what they do or don’t do, but you do get to control who your friends are. Choose friends who are real, faithful, and faith-filled. Matthew 17:20 talks about faith as small as a mustard seed. You want friends with this sort of faith on your side.
If you have that kind of family or friend, write them a letter, email them, text them, take a meal to them; show how grateful you are for such a person in your life. I heard someone once say, “Friendship isn’t one big thing; it’s a million little things.” How true. Getting a high-five for running a marathon or having them show up to your graduation is only a small responsibility of a true friend. Hopliters also sit by you in the waiting room at the doctor; they answer late night phone calls when you’re depressed; they pray for you regularly; they walk through recovery with you; they stick by you in the darkest of pits.
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I remember the anger I felt. It was downright murderous—mentally and spiritually speaking. Anger towards people who lived regular lives. Anger towards people who seemed happy. Anger even toward God for not just stopping my heart from beating. Anger was consuming me like a fire in a dry forest.
My anger, although intense, was nothing to my depression. Everyone experiences highs and lows; I went through a season of low and below sea-level. From night sweats to uncontrollable shaking, I was miserable. In my worst moments I would honestly feel worth more dead than alive to my family. I couldn’t snap out of it. Hope seemed like a fairy tale. I was surrounded by forty people in my prison dorm, but I never felt more alone.
I felt trapped. Trapped on an empty, dark island.
But then finally, one day, a light came on in my head as I thought about all of my family and friends who support me—it would be an insult to give up now.
Does knowing this make battle easier?
Not really. But it gives you something to hold on to and to fight for.
Your support is your flotation device. Even when you are too weak to stay afloat, they are there like an airplane seat—to keep you above the waters in case of an emergency. It’s beneficial to have support and allies to come and lower you to Jesus in your most paralyzing circumstances. Proverbs 18:24 has this to say about friendship: “One who has unreliable friends soon comes to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.” (NIV)
Chaos has revealed to me four types of friends:
1. Hopliters. We’ve already discussed these people.