Sowing Seeds of Life

Chapter 4
Compassion
The Flower

I once had a mentor who said, “Compassion is the ability to take a phone call and upon hearing another’s plight, genuinely feel for them, pray for them, and then hang up the phone and go on with your day as if the call had never happened.”

Paul says in Romans 12:9–18,

Don’t just pretend to love others. Really love them. Hate what is wrong. Hold tightly to what is good. Love each other with genuine affection, and take delight in honoring each other. Never be lazy, but work hard and serve the Lord enthusiastically. Rejoice in our confident hope. Be patient in trouble, and keep on praying. When God’s people are in need, be ready to help them. Always be eager to practice hospitality.

Bless those who persecute you. Don’t curse them; pray that God will bless them. Be happy with those who are happy, and weep with those who weep. Live in harmony with each other. Don’t be too proud to enjoy the company of ordinary people. And don’t think you know it all!

Never pay back evil with more evil. Do things in such a way that everyone can see you are honorable. Do all that you can to live in peace with everyone.

Compassion is the flower that is borne out of genuine love. It is what moves us to act. It is the part of us that connects us to other people in their time of both joy and sorrow and genuinely empathizes with them. It is the part of us that cries over injustice and rejoices over victory, and it is an essential flower in the garden of a Christian.


The Weed

Sympathy! Sympathy is the burden-bearing side of compassion. While empathy allows us to genuinely feel for another person, sympathy causes us to feel responsible for another person. This leads to “compassion burnout,” as we attempt to carry a load that was never ours to carry.

“But wait, aren’t we called to be caring? How can this be bad?” you might ask. And on the surface, you would be correct. The problem is that while we are called to be our brother’s keeper, we are not called to be our brother’s carrier.

God designed us to be in fellowship to help each other and lift each other when we fall. But if we get too wrapped up in another person’s struggles, we can get bogged down by the same struggles. Galatians 6:1–2 says, “Dear brothers and sisters, if another believer is overcome by some sin, you who are godly should gently and humbly help that person back onto the right path. And be careful not to fall into the same temptation yourself. Share each other’s burdens, and in this way, obey the law of Christ.” If we stop there, we can get twisted in our thinking and begin to believe that we need to be in the middle of another’s problems in order to help them back to the right path. But Galatians 6 goes on to say in verse 5 that “we are each responsible for our own conduct.” While we are to help one another back onto the right path and share each other’s burdens, we need to remember that sharing is not the same as carrying. Carrying another’s burdens only positions us as their Savior. It makes us the carriers of their sins. Only Jesus was able to do that on the cross when he bore our sins.

I have a friend who is so loving and giving that she becomes a companion to many hurting people. The kind of person who would give the shirt off their own back if they thought you needed it more. This has sometimes put her in the position of being taken advantage of. In one such incident, her genuine love for a friend caused her to completely rearrange her life so that the friend would not bear the ultimate consequence of her choices. After a time of jumping through hoops, my friend began to express her weariness. She was experiencing compassion burnout. The burden that she was taking on was not hers to bear; she simply didn’t have the resources to carry it long-term. And instead of coming alongside her friend and helping her to come back to the right path, it allowed her friend the opportunity to avoid her responsibilities. In the end, it resulted in frustration over the situation and anger toward her friend as she stepped out and let the consequences fall.

When we take responsibility for the actions and choices of other people, we not only overburden ourselves, but we also create a wall of protection that keeps them from having an opportunity to grow.


The Seed

Compassion is one of the reflective seeds planted in us. God is a God of compassion, so we, created in his image, are made to be compassionate. In Luke 6:35, Jesus tells us, “Love your enemies! Do good to them.” And in verse 36, he says, “You must be compassionate, just as your Father is compassionate.”

A compassionate God, full of mercy and grace, so loved us that he sent his son, Jesus Christ, to be the perfect lamb, a sacrifice to end all sacrifices, to restore his relationship with us. How amazing is that! And we are meant to reflect that compassion to those around us. It is a calling card that opens doors to share the gospel of Christ.

Think about it, our compassionate acts cause nonbelievers to ask us why we do what we do: Why are we so nice? In that moment, we have an open door to say because of Jesus. When I need help, Jesus. When I am broken, Jesus. When I don’t know who I am, Jesus. Compassion in us reflects the love of God and points others to the true source of their salvation—Jesus!