Marriage Hanging By A String

Chapter 12

Love Triangle, Infidelity

Beloved, let us love one another, for love is of God; and everyone who loves is born of God and knows God. He who does not love does not know God, for God is love.

-1 John 4:7,8 NKJV

Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. He who does not love does not know God, for God is love.

-1 John 4:11 NKJV

The best love triangle is Jesus at the very top and your spouse and you at the bottom. That is the perfect triangle of love and hope. If Jesus is the center of your lives, He will bless you with a happy, joyous, and prosperous marriage.

On the other hand, if God is not at the center of your marital bond, the love triangle will be flawed. For example, a married couple appeared happy but inwardly sad and disheartened. Frequent fights, quarrels, and infidelity permeated their relationship. Finally, the wife found a listening ear, a male, who worked with her husband. As time passed, the relationship developed into a romance.

Jealousy and anger festered in the husband’s heart. Finally, he muttered, ‘Why should I stand here and let another man fall in love with my wife?’ He then confronted her lover, shot him at close range, called the police, and confessed to the crime.

The Bible warns about the deadly effects of jealousy. For example, Song of Solomon 8:6 KJV declares, “Jealousy is cruel as the grave: the coals thereof are coals of fire, which hath a most vehement flame.”

May God help us to avoid the perils of jealousy, which is one of the works of the flesh. Ephesians 5:11 NKJV reminds us, “And have no fellowship with the unfruitful works of darkness, but rather expose them.” Instead, allow the fruit of the Spirit, which is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control, to permeate our very being. God’s way is always the best.

Be Gentle

Proverbs 29:22 NKJV, “An angry man stirs up strife, and a furious man abounds in transgression.” King Solomon warns us in Ecclesiastes 7:9 NKJV, “Do not hasten in your spirit to be angry, for anger rests in the bosom of fools.” Had this husband prayed and ask the Lord to help him, walked away, or even counted to one hundred, he may not have been in a dire situation. Therefore, we need to think before we act.

Un-cunning, rude, malicious remarks leave deep mental and emotional scars. These words can break one’s spirit that cannot be retrieved once uttered.

According to Joyce Meyers, “The words you say could hurt or help you. Change Your Words. Change Your Life.”

Reconcile and Forgive

As Matthew 5:22-23 NKJV states, “Therefore bring your gift to the altar, and if you remember that someone has something against you, leave your gift at the altar. First, be reconciled to your brother then come again and offer your gift at the altar.” Be willing to say, “I am sorry, please forgive me.”

The Lord also admonishes us to forgive as He has forgiven us. “But if ye do not forgive, neither will your Father which is in heaven forgive your trespasses” Mark 11:26 KJV.

So be quick to forgive as the Lord forgives you. Forgive not seven times, but seventy times seven, as Jesus told Peter in Matthew 18: 21-22 NIV: “Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?” Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.”

Her husband, now incarcerated for life, left his fractured marriage hanging by a string. He might have averted this tragedy if he had considered his action and the consequences. Instead, her husband will spend the rest of his life in jail.

Jealousy and rage played an integral part in the husband’s downfall. Therefore, let go of envy and resentment and give God your heart and life. Ask Him to help you to control your emotions and behaviors.

Ten Tips to Avoid the Perils of Unfaithfulness

1. Spend quality time in prayer and meditation of the Holy Scriptures.

2. Be honest with your spouse; forgive as the Lord has forgiven you.

3. Have open communication with your partner.

4. Remember to put the Lord first in your relationship; it will prosper. 

5. Spend time reading, studying, and obeying the Word of God.

6. Be respectful and loving to your spouse.

7. Appreciate your differences and celebrate your likeness.

8. Enjoy regular date nights.

9. Compliment your spouse.

10. Try to see how you can make your spouse smile and be happy.

Hope in Jesus

The only hope we have is in Jesus. “If in this life only we have hope in Christ, we are of all men most miserable.” 1 Corinthians 15:19 NKJV. God wants to bless us and give us peace. “Now may the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, that you may abound in hope by the power of the Holy Spirit” Romans 15:13 NKJV.

Our Heavenly Father, please help me recognize any issues in my relationship with my spouse and seek help as soon as possible. Please help me not be jealous but keep You at the top of our love triangle. Please give me wisdom, understanding, and a good relationship with my spouse, in the Name of Jesus. Amen.