From Karma to Christ

INITIAL REFUGEE CAMP Because of disputes over citizenship and political unrest, many Bhutanese Nepali people were consider illegal aliens and were sent out of the country to refugee camps in 1991. One hundred thousand people were forced to exit Bhutan and go to Nepal where they originated. In Nepal, life was much more difficult and poverty was the tone of life there. Life in the refugee camp was ugly and scary and difficult for many reasons. The first 7 months we had to live on the bank of Maidhar River. It was called the Maidhar River Camp. When we first arrived, we had no water, no toilet facilities and no electricity. We had no access to medical care. Our home was open to the elements like a makeshift tent that wasn't waterproof. We slept on the muddy floor on blankets huddled in a small, crowded space. Basically, the sky was our roof, the horizon was our wall and the earth was our floor. We really felt hopeless and in despair; hungry, scared and unsure of our future. Life did improve some after the first few months when we received more food and a small amount of medical supplies. A stench hung in the air from poor sanitation and burning bodies on the river bank. One hundred people per day died and their bodies were burned and ashes dumped into the river, polluting it. Dysentery, fever and malnutrition were the main causes of death at this time. This is the backdrop of my life during my 12th year. NO LONGER A REFUGEE When we came to America we were given a home, food, job opportunities and more but the most valuable treasured thing we received was an identity. As refugees our citizenship, our homeland, our security, our rights and our protections were stripped from us. We were like orphans cast out into the world and needing to find a place to be. The USA gave us an identity with rights, privileges, security and protection. We were no longer defined as orphans or strangers. We were given a second opportunity to live life as humans with dignity and worth, with potential to achieve and the ability to rise up in the world. We didn’t dare hope or dream for our future when we lived in the refugee camp...there was just no hope. We had no idea how to help our daughters or guide or lead them in such a hopeless dead-end lifestyle. But now these girls are living in the “land of opportunity” where they can be themselves, get an education, rise up and reach their fullest potential...where they matter because they are human. This new generation can teach others to be thankful and show an attitude of gratitude and be willing to invest, serve and protect this country that is not just a destination but is our home. I was no longer a refugee. ON THE FENCE On the one hand, I was moved by beauty of the gospel, forgiveness of sins, eternal security, unconditional love and acceptance that I never had before. I had for the first-time peace and hope and assurance. I would be free from guilt, shame, condemnation, insecurity, and the threat of a lost future, I had all of this beauty in my hands. On the other hand, fear of rejection and isolation, condemnation and judgement, scorn and misunderstanding from the Hindu community and my own family lay as a likelihood that troubled me. Inside and outside the refugee camps I saw Christians being persecuted and mistreated. Was this worth the risk? Was it worth the loss? I saw the outcome of this decision; they were treated like they were dead and gone like a ghost from this world. I SURRENDER ALL My desire to counter the Truth faltered, my resistance faded and I independently decided to depend upon Jesus for my salvation and surrender to the Truth on my knees. I could no longer deny or resist the beauty and strength of the Truth of God's word and His character. There is no place in the universe that can compare to being the beloved in the palm of God’s loving hand. Nothing can offer what only God can. I recognized Jesus as a perfect Savior and I confess with my mouth that Jesus Christ is Lord and I believe in my heart that God raised him from the dead (Romans 10:9). I am no longer confused about who I am. I am a child of God.