Beautifully Broken

Suffering comes in all shapes and sizes and looks different to different people. Some people in the western world think they are suffering when they have to cancel a vacation, while elsewhere in the world walking two miles for water is part of daily life and not considered suffering at all. In this regard, we could say suffering is relative as it exists only in relation to the perceptions and circumstances of those involved. That’s why it can be at once challenging to share our sufferings and to listen to others’ sufferings.
As close as we are to our family, friends, or even our spouse, no one else truly knows what we are thinking or feeling when we get a cancer diagnosis or receive our first chemotherapy treatment. No one can feel our pain after surgery or know the anguish in our heart from a shattered relationship. No one else knows the searing loss from the death of a child, or the fear and concern from losing a job or a home. No one else can feel the anger of things not turning out liked we hoped or planned. So, what do we do? How do we deal with these feelings and walk through these circumstances that may or may not have an end to them?
There are two practical questions we can ask ourselves during these times. The first question is What kind of person do I want to be? Asking What kind of person do I want to be? puts the decision and the choice back on me. It reminds me that I want to live up to values and standards I can be proud of.
Having lived a memorable portion of my life in Nashville, Tennessee, I came to appreciate the candor of country music. Many of the lyrics offer us a plethora of options on how to deal with sufferings and tough times. One catchy tune and perfect rhyme advises the betrayed lass to bash in the headlights of his prized sportscar and take a knife to his leather seats. Another equally creative song reminds girls their mamas expect them to dry up their tears, put on their lipstick, swallow down their hurt and act like life is perfect. Others suggest everything from crying in beer to making lemonade to simply getting a new attitude. Most of these are not my glass of sweet tea, but I do believe the Lord might get a kick out of some of the revenge tactics humans think about — as long as we don’t go through with them. However, it likely also pains him greatly to see the many ways humans try to deal with trials instead of coming to him and practicing the ways he has taught us.
What kind of person do I want to be? is not a question that reminds me others may be watching, or asks what kind of witness I am being, or all the other self-focused questions we have been taught to ask ourselves. Those questions can lead to vanity and pride. This question is different. It is introspective and leads to humility and growth. This question is an arrow on the compass of my life that points to true north and guides my every word, action, and response. It is the answer to who I want to be in the face of suffering. What kind of person do I want to be?

The second question that helps us walk through these trials and sufferings is “What am I supposed to learn from this?” The answer to this question may not be immediately known. The very exercise of asking ourselves (and asking God), “What is my lesson in this?” creates room for us to evaluate where we have been in this journey and what we have learned along the way. It can bring hope and surprise at how much we have changed and grown, and it can lead to setting goals of going even farther and living for the day when things might be different or better.

You may have heard people say trials are here in this life to teach us lessons and we will continue to face the same trials over and over until and unless we learn whatever lesson we’re supposed to learn. I don’t recall that being anywhere in scripture, but I do know people who still suffer trials who have learned how to walk through them with a grace and dignity that is beyond humanly possible. Jesus is our perfect example of suffering with grace and dignity. Being mocked and ridiculed, beaten and hung on a cross, He was not angry, offered no resistance, and asked for forgiveness for His persecutors. For us, He is present and faithful in our suffering, and His grace is sufficient. His power is made perfect in the very times we are weak. And that is how we walk through suffering with a grace and dignity that is beyond humanly possible.

What kind of person do you want to be in the struggle you are facing? What are some lessons you have learned or are learning from your current suffering or trial? Do you feel God’s grace is sufficient for you in your time of weakness? Why or why not?