Power of Here

How did you get here? Nobody's supposed to be here? The musical lyrics from Deborah Cox have gone from being something I passionately sang for karaoke nights to thoughtful questions I truly started to ponder for my life. After the passing of my dad, a breakup with the love of my life, my mom going into the hospital, financial struggles from the foolishness of intertwining finances with my ex, stepping up to take care of children, and emotional turmoil I literally thought I was about to lose my mind. All of this happened back-to-back, and I kept waiting for more blows to hit me out of nowhere. On the surface, it appeared that external things were just happening to me, and it was hard to not want to place blame on anything and anyone outside of myself.

But in the moments of going through these difficult circumstances, I ended up asking God a powerful question that changed my whole perspective on my external situations. I asked Him, "God, what are you trying to do and show me through this?" I didn't know at the time that question would be the very question that God would slowly reveal to me multiple reasons for why I was in the position I was in. If you are experiencing literal hell on earth in your life, but haven’t asked God this simple question, I would encourage you to do so now and to wait in anticipation for His responses through your journey.

God started His multiple part answer with some unexpected realizations that I wasn't aware of in my own life. For so long, I had allowed a good portion of my spiritual development and growth to be facilitated and piggybacked on the faith of my parents. Having grown up in a household of faith and as a PK (pastor's kid), I received a lot of blessings just from my parents who lived out their faith and instilled it in me and my siblings. However, I am aware now that I must be autonomous and personally responsible in my own faith walk. This was a time for me to experience God in a new light that I have never experienced Him before. After the passing of my dad and losing his spiritual covering, I had to really adopt Jesus as my father and become a daddy's girl to Him. This realization of needing to experience God at another level came as I began my solemn assembly with my church. I had never done a spiritual fast before, but I was in need of God more than ever, and I had nothing else to lose so I took this fast seriously.

But in the moments of going through these difficult circumstances, I ended up asking God a powerful question that changed my whole perspective on my external situations. I asked Him, “God, what are you trying to do and show me through this?” I didn’t know at the time that question would be the very question that God would slowly reveal to me multiple reasons for why I was in the position I was in. If you are experiencing literal hell on earth in your life, but haven’t asked God this simple question, I would encourage you to do so now and to wait in anticipation for His responses through your journey.