Becoming a Strong and Immovable Wife

Neither Phil nor I had any godly mature people in our lives. Our lives just felt like a wheel turning and turning without any real changes, and I was so tired of it all! One day, while reading my Bible, I came across John 8:31-32: “If you hold to my teaching, you are really my disciples. Then you will know the truth and the truth shall set you free.” I thought, “I do not feel free, God!” It occurred to me then that I was not as serious about my faith as I should be. I confessed this to God and again became very aware of His Holy Presence that day. Another day during that time, God spoke to me again. I was complaining bitterly to Him about our marriage and all the things that were not going well. Actually, I was complaining about all the wrong things Phil was doing. That's when I clearly heard His voice in my mind, “Really? You can’t find one good thing to say about this man?” I responded, “No, because we are in this mess because of him!” Suddenly, God brought to my mind Romans 3:23: “ For ALL have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.” He challenged me to write a list of all the good things Phil was doing and to start thanking him for those things. So my list began: He always gets the mail. He always takes care of the trash and the recycling. He helps with the dishes and the house chores. He is a really hard worker and we do not lack anything. And so it continued. What that did to me that afternoon was to help me realize that I was not seeing my husband the way God sees him. I was focusing more on the negative things and couldn’t see the positives God was changing in Phil. After this revelation my attitude toward my husband started changing greatly. As I thanked Phil for simple things like taking the trash out and helping with the dishes, I also started seeing him in a different way, and my heart softened toward him. The following months, as I drew closer to God, I started praying for my husband, for our marriage and for our family regularly. On a Sunday morning in January of 2013, as I was expecting our fourth child and feeling very tired, Phil took our three other children to church and I stayed home. I decided to listen to a sermon series at home during that time. It was titled “Living in the Will of God” by Charles Price of People’s Church, Toronto. I started listening to the second sermon in the series, which was titled “His ways are not our ways”. After fifteen minutes, God got a complete grip on my heart. I got on my knees and wept. I then surrendered all of my life, the messes I had made of it, and particularly my marriage to Him. I felt so free! It was like a burden was lifted off my shoulders. I wasn't the one in control of everything anymore - He was. In the following weeks I began to see that my husband was not the enemy after all. And that Phil's sins, that he was captive to, were tools that Satan was using to destroy our marriage. The devil was the enemy, not Phil. My prayers centered on asking God to release the enemy's grip on Phil and to draw him closer to Himself. It took another three and a half years before I saw the answer to those prayers, but I did not lose hope. I loved God so much and I saw Him changing my heart so I knew He could change Phil also.