Dear God, It’s Me—Rebecca

Dear God, It’s me—Rebecca. Well, I expect you knew that already because you know everything, but I just wanted to introduce myself anyway. My mom says I am a chatterbox, so you can feel free to just read a little at a time if you are busy looking after other people. I am so excited to write in my diary today. I am going to use it to write letters to you. Mom says it can be like a prayer journal. I got it for my birthday, and it has a red leather cover and a little gold lock with the tiniest gold key I have ever seen. I will have to find a place to hide the key so no one can read what I write. My mom says I would lose my head if it weren’t attached. Anyway, God, I really need help with my fear of my dark closet. I know the Bible says in Isaiah 41:10, “So do not fear, for I am with you. I will strengthen you and help you.” You know that I don’t usually have many fears. I love climbing trees and making them swing back and forth so I can reach over to the tree next to it. Once I crossed over six trees without touching the ground! I don’t know if you noticed that because you were likely looking after something more important. And remember that time, God, when I went with my dad to bring our two big horses back from the farm? They were huge workhorses called Belgians, and I was afraid I would fall off, so I chose the one that put its head down close to me because it seemed smaller. That was a long, bumpy ride with no saddle, but you helped me not to be afraid. And I am not afraid of the dark when I play outside with my younger twin brothers (my sister being too young for that game). In fact, one of our favorite games is to lie on our stomachs on the grass and wait for the lights of a car to come down the road. We pretend that the car is a monster, and we lie flat and still in the grass so the beams from the headlights don’t show where we are hiding. Well, back to needing help with my fear of my dark closet. It all started the other night when I was sitting on the edge of my bed kicking off my pink fuzzy slippers. All of a sudden, two hands reached out from under the bed and grabbed my ankles. I was so scared that I shrieked out loud! But it was my brother who had hidden under my bed and was waiting for just the right moment to scare me. I know that you want us to love everyone, but sometimes it is hard to love my little brothers. Anyway, ever since that time, I try to jump into my bed with a flying leap from my doorway. The problem is that now I see my whole room as scary, especially my closet. I always forget to close my closet door, and even when I am safe in bed, I keep imagining that there is a monster in there waiting to jump out. I know in my head that there is really nothing scary in my closet as mostly it is full of my mom’s dresses. Her closet isn’t very big, and I don’t have many clothes, so my mom hangs a lot of her dresses in my closet. But I just can’t seem to stop the feeling that there is something scary in that closet. So, my prayer tonight is that you help me get over my fear of my dark closet. Dear God, I can’t believe you think that would be a good idea! Keep the lights off and creep into my closet in the dark? I know that is the idea that you put into my head, but maybe you have another plan, like maybe my mom letting me keep the lights on. I know Psalm 56:3 says, “When I am afraid I will trust in you.” Okay here goes. I am putting on my slippers and tiptoeing over to my closet. I don’t want to wake any sleeping monsters! Now what? Yikes! I am supposed to sit down on the floor of the dark closet and just wait? Wait for what? AAAGHHH! Something is touching my head! Oh, it’s only my mom’s dresses. Sigh. I’m still feeling scared. Dum de dum dum. Maybe I will hum a little song. Aggh! Something is tickling my head. Oh, it’s just a scarf hanging down. It’s not very comfortable on this hard floor. I wish I had a mat to sit on. I should have brought my braided rug in here to sit on. My grandfather makes braided rugs out of old nylon stockings that have been dyed different colors. They are lovely, and I like them better than the ones that he makes out of dyed twine as those as scratchy. But we usually put those twine ones outside the door so we can use them to wipe the mud off our feet. Now I’m getting bored. But wait—I don’t feel scared anymore. I guess it is not possible to feel bored and scared at the same time. Now I feel a little silly. It is just an old closet with dresses hanging down. Hey, God, that was so cool how, just by sitting here long enough, I don’t feel scared anymore. That reminds me of verse 31 in Isaiah 40: “They that wait upon the Lord, they shall renew their strength.” You gave me strength to overcome my fears. Now I can go to sleep without feeling afraid.