Elbows on the Table
Simple Ways to Make Gathering Fun
by
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CHA P T E R 13
Ditching the Me Syndrome
“Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in
humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your
own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.”
Philippians 2:3, 4, NIV
One evening Bob said, “I invited someone to come over next
Sunday night for chili, is that okay?” Uh, thinking, ‘I have Sweet
Spirit Singers rehearsal on Sunday nights, and I’m the director,’
as I swung around and “Grrr” under my breath. And then Satan
and I argued.
Rehearsal is over at 6:30 p.m. Things could be ready before I
left for rehearsal, but I am too tired on Sunday afternoons. That
“me” syndrome was wedging its way into my thinking again.
I was overlooking the fact that on Saturday afternoon I could
prepare a simple pot of chili. Oh, but the boys have basketball
games, right?
By Saturday night, I want the laundry completed, the beds
remade with clean sheets, and the carpet swept. The ‘ole devil
planted thoughts in my mind. Thoughts such as ‘you can’t’,
‘you don’t have time’, ‘you don’t measure up’, or ‘your budget
will be tight that week’. It becomes about me, not the person
invited to grace our home. But me. We allow those ridiculous
and horrible thoughts to hammer at us. I was being disrespectful
to my husband and God and forgetting the Scripture that calls
us to be hospitable.
When was the last time you and your family entertained? In
our fast-paced and digital world, entertaining is rare.
Preachers who grace our table have expressed that they
never get invited by families from their church for dinner or
dessert. Or worse yet, my wife has no friends.
That breaks my heart. I hesitate a moment, considering how
can I respond to this?
If you want friends, be a friend. To get an invitation to
someone’s home, welcome people into your home.
That response may sound harsh, but I believe it’s true.
Why not text someone and ask if they are free to come
to lunch next Thursday? Make the meal simple. Serve tuna
sandwiches or grilled cheese and heat a can of soup or fix a big
salad.
You might call or email a couple and invite them to dinner.
Prepare chili or hamburgers or order pizza or pick up food at
a deli. Chances are the invited guests will ask if they can help
and bring a pie or a fresh salad. People want to do something.
Let them. Enjoy your evening together.
Oh yes, arrange your schedule to include a brief nap before
guests arrive.
In her popular book Bread and Wine, 19 Shauna Niequist
proclaims “fuss not”. Chuck perfectionism out the window. She
used the illustration that her mother never set a jar of jelly on
the table. She always presented it in a crystal bowl and silver
spoon ready.
I can fit between those two examples: Fuss not or perfect.
Sometimes I do simple and sometimes more perfect. Please
know it can never be perfect. The older and slower I get, the less
perfectionism on my part. If you are a young married couple,
remember, things will not be perfect.
Although, when I use plastic plates, cups, and utensils, I
enjoy placing a real tablecloth on the table with big paper napkins.
I prefer fresh flowers. When we arrange a vase of flowers
along with candles on the table, we are telling our guests they
are special. I may put bread on a plate and butter in a nice dish
and potato chips in a bowl.
If we are rushing at lunchtime, and it’s just Bob and me, I
might lay an open chip bag on the table. Far from perfection.
I continue to remind myself that the devil is doing his best
to destroy my joy and make me miserable. Will you join me in
telling him to get out and leave us alone?
We are to be hospitable. Before guests arrive and put their elbows
on your table, why not pray and invite our Lord and Savior to be part of the guest list?
Formats
Book Details
About the Book
Are you afraid to have people in your home for dinner? Overnight? The Bible tells us to offer hospitality to one another without grumbling.
In the early years of marriage and ministry, hospitality wasn’t Judy’s strongest gift. But over the years, she practiced and became good at hospitality and entertaining. There have been some funny and edifying times around the Russell table. As well as times that were somewhat nerve racking.
This book is full of stories about hospitality and entertaining. Everyone is real. Included are lots of little tips, tricks and recipes to make entertaining more pleasurable and hopefully to erase the fear one may have about extending hospitality.
About the Author
Faith played a major role in Judy Russell’s life since childhood. With a degree in classical piano performance, she played for over 40 years at worship services, for choirs, ensembles and soloists.
Judy and Bob married 57 years ago. Bob was pastor for 40 years at Southeast Christian Church in Louisville, Kentucky. Two married sons; Rusty, a pastor, and Phil, a police officer. Seven grandchildren, three who are married, and one great grandchild round out their family.
Judy enjoys Bible study, reading, photography, and digital scrapbooking. Her greatest joy? Entertaining, of course. Hundreds have graced their home for meals, dinners, overnights, and parties. Over the past 17 years, more than 1000 ministers have put their elbows on the Russell’s table.