The Fourth Watch

Foreword Scribe’s Prelude to the Foreword The foreword to this book is more than a foreword. In my opinion, it should be called “the most important part” of this book. It is a summary account of the writer’s experience of her healing. She overcame her fear of not being “good enough” to be accepted as a person. She likely believed that what she had done was who she was. This is a common malady with many people, both women and men, and is reinforced by the world around them. One’s past is the world’s definition of one’s identity. The world is wrong. No one is perfect, and I will be the first one to admit it. After years and years of running from God, He finally got ahold of me and showed me who He really is. He is a good, just, and oh so very loving Father. Now coming from me, some would ask, “Is that really a good thing for you? I mean, since your father’s track record isn’t so great and all?” My answer to them is “Yes! Because He is the Father of all fathers. He is the greatest Father anyone could ever ask for. He will never fail you. He will never leave your side. He would never betray you, nor would he ever contemplate it.” If you asked me how I felt about God in 2019 or earlier, that answer would have been the farthest from my mind. I gave up running from God in May 2019. Instead of running from Him, I started chasing Him. I was doing OK. Still making irresponsible choices every now and then, but through those same choices, Jesus always found a way to get me back on track to chasing after Him. One day in March 2020, I met a young man who would introduce me to this author; he calls himself a scribe. It was a little while after we had been introduced that he offered to go through healing prayer appointments with me. Now this man thought he could help me with the little stuff I had told him about my past. I admire the man, and to be quite honest, I was terrified of going and telling him about my past. I didn’t want to tell him all the ugly, unbelievable, and illegal things I had done. I was hoping that I could suppress my past and move on. After a few months, I finally gave in and set up time for an appointment. What was the harm, right? It was not like I was going to tell him everything. How wrong was I? The first session was six hours long, and he only asked me one question. “Will you tell me about your mother?” The floodgates opened, and out came my whole life story. I don’t know why, but there was just something about this man that allowed me to open up and tell him every little thing. Now not everyone is going to be six hours of word-vomit like me. Not everyone needs that. Me, on the other hand, yup: drugs, alcohol, sex outside of marriage, being raped, physical, mental, and emotional abuse, sex with the same gender and multiples at the same time, multiple attempts at suicide, depression, being molested by a family member—the list goes on. When I walked in, my “backpack” was so weighed down that I could barely wake up in the mornings without something weighing me down. After going through and completing the healing prayer appointments, I felt like a whole new person. Never in my wildest dream did I believe that I could ever stand tall and unafraid of my past. That day I did. Now the evil one would like you to think that it’s really not possible to be healed of your past, but God is the one who matters. Remember when I said He is a good Father. He is! He has set a place for you, and He has His arms wide open, ready to heal your heart and your mind. He isn’t just a good Father. He is the Mighty Physician and uses His workers, like this scribe, to heal and set free all who ask and are in need. Blessings, CBL Scribe’s Postlude to the Foreword Her initials are used to protect her identity from those who would judge her for her past acts and not according to who she is. In my thinking, her initials stand for Cheerful Bright Light. She might call it her new identity. If so, she would be wrong. It is the identity she always had. She just did not know it. We unpacked her “backpack” and filled it with truth. She carries no shame. It is gone. The wounds she endured no longer control her. She is willing to share her story with anyone who needs to hear it. Indeed, she has already done so. Not all sessions are six hours long, as she said. I chose to allow her to get it out and be done, as I honored her by listening to her share her journey. While I only asked her to tell me about her mother, she systematically answered all of the questions that I use during the assessment process in nearly the exact order I would have asked, had I needed to do so. It remains the only time I only had to ask one question. Each person is an individual and each time I meet with someone, our sessions are tailored to her needs. Now on to the rest of the book. None of the contents of the rest of this book are from her story. They are from others with whom I have had contact over the years.