Fireside Reflections

As you live your life, you accumulate a set of stories that you may share from time to time, perhaps over a cup of coffee or a cocktail with a group of friends. Over my career, I have enjoyed (and at times not enjoyed) experiences that some have called unique. Most of these took place in a business setting; perhaps related to a transaction, an odd individual, or a problem in search of a solution. The resulting tales can be fun to share, and since I get requests to retell them, I assume they are also entertaining to hear. Some have suggested that I capture these in a book that combines business advice with interesting stories. So, as I began the process of retiring, I decided to get these stories down on paper. I started with a long list of stories and then began to outline a few. I just couldn’t get into it. Somehow retiring took the energy out of these business-related stories. They just weren’t as interesting anymore. (Probably never were.) Laughing about a story with coworkers after a long day in meetings is very different from reading stories in a book. It was a funny thing though; as I thought about writing a book, I kept thinking about my grandkids. Did my background and experiences provide anything that would be helpful for them? Do I know things now that I wish I had known and understood when I was younger? This led to the idea of a book that captures ideas, advice, lessons, and stories that would be valuable for my grandkids and others. Some of these lessons I am still learning myself. As I write this, I have six grandkids ranging from a ten-year-old to still developing and not yet born—the “Littles” as my wonderful wife of forty-plus years calls them. Our four adult kids are the “Bigs.” We are Papa and Nana, and we dearly love the Bigs and Littles. Being parents is a wonderful blessing, and being grandparents is better than we know how to express. We see God’s hand at work in the lives of the Bigs and Littles, and that is a great thing. My job now is to be the best at being Papa, and I pray for the required wisdom, patience, and heart. So, a book that started as a collection of business-related stories has become a collection of lessons I want to share with the Littles and others. As I thought about this book, I did not have the goal of capturing everything I think the Littles should learn. Frankly, that is not my job as Papa and, more importantly, that is not my call. I gathered ideas, advice, and lessons that I have found useful in life and thought would be useful for others. Some are good for the late teen or young adult. Some won’t come into play until later in life. The world would be a bit brighter if daily we all applied the lessons that we should have learned when we were younger. I grafted some of these lessons into my life early and others I keep relearning as I continue to stumble over them. As I look to the past, I realize I did some things well, and I have enjoyed that success. I also made my share of mistakes, with lessons learned. Lessons are often learned following a misstep, and frequently it takes repeated failure for a lesson to take root. It is best to learn from the missteps of others instead of remaking those same mistakes. Books are good for that. Late-night talks out by the fire with Papa can be good for that as well. Beginning when I was young, I spent time reading and studying about life and its complexities. I started early trying to learn how people became successful. I studied how to set and accomplish goals and how to make decisions. I also studied business and business leaders. In my business life and in my personal life, I have achieved a degree of success. I have accomplished many of the goals I set when I was young. But at times, I have also strayed away from my set goals, followed others’ goals instead of my own, lost focus, and flat out failed at times. Don’t picture me standing in front of you lecturing as a person who knows it all. I have learned much during my life and want to share what I have learned, but I am not the guy who proclaims his expertise as he stands teaching at the podium. Think of this book as life lessons shared in the evening out back in the lodge and in front of the fire, sitting with boots up and sharing things learned from others, from success, and from failure. This book contains a series of discussion topics grouped into chapters. Each topic is its own discussion out by the fire. As the Littles join me by the fire, we talk about many things. Over the years and in front of many a fire, I hope we have a chance to talk about all the topics touched on in this book. I want these lessons to help them along their path or to help them rediscover their path when the pressures and choices of life draw them away. God is interlaced in many of these lessons, both directly stated and as an unstated undercurrent. The Bible provides some great advice and I believe that God has a place in our lives. It is fine if you do not believe the same and I respect that; the advice and suggestions still stand. Good advice can come from a lot of places and can be useful to all of us. One last thing: I don’t recall anyone ever sincerely complimenting me on my writing skills. I assume there is a reason for that. Regardless, I hope that you enjoy this book and come away with a few ideas to ponder or perhaps something to incorporate into your young life or to share with your Littles. The fire is always enjoyable, so we have that to share. Enough of this introduction stuff. This first chapter will take us directly into deep water. No reason to piddle around; we might as well jump into heavy topics right from the start. So, are we ready to go fishing?