Whispers from God:

So now we can rejoice in our wonderful new relationship with God

because our Lord Jesus Christ has made us friends of God.

Romans 5:11 (NLT)

For years I treated God like a combination Santa Claus and my personal problem-solver. When I wanted something, it was, “Please, please, please…help me get that!” Or if I made a mess of things, it was, “Please, please, please…help me get out of this!” I was shooting off prayers to a vast, faceless entity without expecting Him to talk to me. Then life really got rocky -- abortion, marriage, divorce, rebound marriage, uprooting my children, mistakes upon mistakes, then another divorce, another move, more upheaval – all the time hopelessly praying at God without stopping to listen.

When I finally reached a point of such brokenness I no longer trusted my own ability to make a good decision, I cried out, “God, if You can make anything of the mess I’ve made of my life, You can have it!” I vowed I would at least try to do things His way, regardless of what He asked of me. And you know what? He has been faithful every step of the way. But doing things His way has not always been comfortable, or easy. I quickly discovered He is more concerned with the strength of my faith and the integrity of my character than He is with my comfort level. When you ask Him to increase your faith, He’ll lead you to an inconvenient ledge and tell you to jump, with no bottom in sight. He can only build your trust if you’re willing to take that first leap of faith into thin air. When He catches you – as He always will – your faith grows. You just need to be OK not knowing how, or when He will catch you. I’d like to say it gets easier along the way, but generally, those steps of faith get bigger as your faith grows. How else could it continue to increase?

When I complained that my life’s path felt like I was blindly feeling my way down a long, dark hallway with no exits, our conversation went something like this:

“Lord, You want us to be friends, but friends talk to each other! I talk to You every day, almost nonstop. Why are You not talking to me?”

I heard the barest thread of a whisper, but I couldn’t catch it. In frustration, I cried out, “Lord, why must You whisper? I want to know what You said but I can’t hear You!”

Then suddenly, God gave me what I call a sensory vision. I felt His cheek against my cheek and His mouth at my ear, “Do you know why I whisper?”

“No, Lord…why?”

“Because I’m this close.”

With those words, His love began to penetrate my weariness like warm oil, saturating and healing my battered and bruised heart, mind, body, soul, and spirit. I sat there, eyes closed, humbled, and overwhelmed. My eyes flooded with tears of joy in His presence as love for Him filled my heart. He reminded me that, even when I can’t feel His presence or hear His voice, He is always right here with me, leading me step-by-step. His promises are true, and His Word confirms He will never leave us. If we don’t hear from Him, it’s very likely in the busyness of our lives we have been praying at Him and then rushing on our way instead of talking to Him and pausing to listen for His answers.

We love because He first loved us.~ 1 John 4:19 (NIV)

Whispers from God is my testimony of what a real faith journey looks like for a regular person who dared to step into the mystery of friendship with our miraculous Almighty God. When He called me to write this book, I immediately began thinking about all the WOW moments He has given me. But I soon realized I needed to write about the whole journey: the blessings and the challenges. While God has shown me His incredible love and given me many miraculous moments, He also wants you to know about the struggles and the dailyness of walking with Him. You need to hear the whole story so when the hard parts happen, you won’t give up in frustration, thinking, “Yeah sure, it’s easy for her.” Ultimately, He wants me to tell you how I came to love Him and trust Him so you can believe it’s possible for you, too. That’s what He wants for everyone – to know and love Him personally while learning to walk in the power and authority He has given all His children.

He wants you to keep pressing in through the dry times when you can’t hear His voice; keep seeking Him, and remain obedient, even when you don’t understand what’s going on and you feel foolish for even trying. Frequently, those challenging times come just before He gives you the breakthrough. In fact, you get the breakthrough because you remain obedient when all the evidence is screaming at you to give up. Most of His transforming work in me has come gradually, rather than suddenly. As I reviewed my journals to prepare for writing this book, I was surprised to read prayers I had written – and forgotten – months before a breakthrough came. What I thought was a sudden change from God was, in reality, the result of God working on my heart for months to transform something in me. God wants you to know it’s OK to get mad at Him – and even yell at Him – as long as you don’t stop talking to Him and listening. He sees into the very depths of your heart and loves you completely, regardless of what your heart holds. Even if you don’t believe in Him, He loves you and wants to help you live your best life.