Live and Let Live

Because I have had a spiritual awakening, I try to share the program with alcoholics, and practice the AA principles in my daily living. I continue to go to AA meetings and render service regularly. I am happy to do these things as my life in sobriety is the best possible life for me. I love AA and the people in it. I am grateful for my solution.

For some time, though, I have been asking, “Is there anything more?” What more do I need to become emotionally sober? Bill Wilson, one of the co-founders of AA came to the same place in his recovery.
“I think that many oldsters who have put our AA "booze cure" to severe but successful tests still find they often lack emotional sobriety. Perhaps they will be the spearhead for the next major development in AA—the development of much more real maturity and balance (which is to say, humility) in our relations with ourselves, with our fellows, and with God.” by Bill Wilson Copyright © AA Grapevine, Inc, January 1958

Like Bill, I desire to develop real maturity and balance. I also desire to relate better with others, but I have always thought that it may be out of my reach. I had more problems than just alcohol. I’m sober but what can be done about my problems with living?

I have suffered from clinical depression most of my adult life. I would hear people say at meetings that the same Power that lifted my alcoholism could also cure me of all my other afflictions, including my depression. They said that if I wasn’t cured, I needed to go back to the beginning and redo the steps with a more honest intention. I took their suggestion to heart but as hard as I worked, the depression was not lifted. Why couldn’t the program that removed my obsession to drink work on my depression problem? Bill Wilson must have been thinking along the same lines when he wrote a letter to his friend who also shared his affliction of clinical depression.

“I kept asking myself, "Why can't the Twelve Steps work to release depression?" By the hour, I stared at the St. Francis prayer ... "It is better to comfort than to be comforted." Here was the formula, all right, but why didn't it work?
Suddenly I realized what the matter was ... My basic flaw had always been dependence, almost absolute dependence on people or circumstances to supply me with prestige, security, and the like. Failing to get these things according to my perfectionist dreams and specifications, I had fought for them. And when defeat came so did my depression.” Bill Wilson Copyright © The A.A. Grapevine, Inc., January 1958

Early on in sobriety I heard someone say, “If you want to get sober, don’t drink and go to AA meetings, but if you want what I have, you’ll have to turn your life around 180 degrees!” I had just moved to California with about two and a half years of sobriety when I heard this gentleman make that proclamation. I copped an immediate resentment. Who was he to suggest anything about my sobriety? I had almost 2 ½ years sober! The alcoholic who made the statement had about 20 years sobriety and I now know he was also more emotionally mature. That was over 30 years ago, and I now realize that if I want what he had, my AA efforts will require something more than what I had done.