The Journey

Introduction

This collection of poems I have written over many years. A Beacon in the Night was one of the first poems I wrote. God is guiding my life now. But this doesn’t mean there won’t be difficult times. In March, 2015 I lost our home. My children and I were separated. We were reunited in January, 2016. We are healing and getting back on our feet again. God has brought us many blessings in the storm. God is shaping and guiding me. During this time of silence and healing he has given me many beautiful poems many of which have answered questions and confusions about my life and his will for me. He has revealed the imposters and the truths. He is helping me stand stronger. Sometimes we are the ones who have to face personal truths to help us grow and learn. I wrote Domestic Abuse in the acceptance of that is what my marriage was. My cousin Audrey was a victim of domestic abuse and lost her life the day she was leaving. I wanted to remember her in my book so that others will know she was beautiful and her life counted.
In my journey with God he has shown me deep compassion and love. When I am fearful or tearing myself down, He picks me up and shows me my beauty and his will for me. He gave me Whispers during one of those times. I want others to know how beautiful the love of God is. We don’t have to control things or carry the burdens. Some things are only for God to do.
God has been taking his time revealing the truths in my life and healing me. He has been justifying me to others who have spread vile gossip. He has been walking patiently and picked me up every time I have fallen. He has shown me through these trials I am stronger and closer to him. He has also shown me how he has used my life to make changes in the people around me who have judged me. He is changing things for the good of all. This book ends with Salvation because God has saved my life and the lives of my children from those who have meant us Great Harm. He has drawn us closer to him.
I hope these poems touch your heart no matter where you are on your journey with God.

Table of Contents

Chapter 1: Out of the Ashes
Chapter 2: God’s Compassion
Chapter 3: Acceptance
Chapter 4: Trusting in God
Chapter 5: God Leads the Way
Chapter 6: Something for God to Do
Chapter 7: Salvation

Chapter 1
Out of the Ashes

I wrote Domestic Abuse about my first marriage. I struggled against much betrayal and hidden truths. It took a long time because God knew my heart. He knew I couldn’t take all of the truths at once. Many of them were heart wrenching. I have finally come to call it what it was, Domestic Abuse.
The Shunning I wrote after being shunned by many people including the people at my church. After losing my home and trying to get back up on my feet, I posted a flyer about a book signing on the church bulletin board. Someone from my church ripped it down. No one came to the book signing.
My Friend, I wrote about the time of the shunning when no one would speak to me because of much gossip and untruths. A friend was shopping at the grocery store near me and never acknowledged me. It was very hurtful.
Where are the Bluebirds? I wrote after I lost our home. When I got a divorce and my life was starting over there were bluebirds flying around in our subdivision. To me, they were a symbol from God that he is here and we are safe. When we lost our home I kept looking for the bluebirds.
A Grieving Mother is a poem of compassion about a Mother who I helped with her child. Sometimes the babies I work with die. But, I work with families as well as their children. To me it is humbling to remember them because they shared their most precious gift with me.
I had to write, This is Me. When you are a victim of domestic abuse you are surviving, trying to keep the ship steady against much sabotage. You stay quiet. This is Me, is about who I am. No one really knew me, Gina.
I Sit…I Watch…, is about the numbness that you feel when all is lost and the fear you have to stand up and try again and trust again. Only, God could help me do this.

Psalms 15: 1-2: “Lord who shall abide in thy tabernacle? Who shall dwell in thy holy hill? He that walketh uprightly, and worketh righteousness, and speaketh the truth in his heart.” KJV

Domestic Abuse
I walked into the
Ladies room at my church
There were cards on the vanity
For women of domestic abuse
I thought I can’t pick this up
No one would believe me
No one knows my pain
They will chastise my children
We will be put to shame
So I washed my hands and left
I joined the service of prayer
God knows my heart
He knows my despair
I walked into the bathroom
A card was on the vanity
A helpline number
For women of Domestic Abuse
But I could not pick it up
They would never believe me
My children will pay the price
They don’t know the same
Person I do
He seems so nice
I carry a heavy burden
No one can know the truth
For my children will pay the price
I must endure this abuse
I came home from my
Marathon training
To take my children shopping
My husband cursed at me and
Spit on me in front of them
This was the end
The final chapter
For everything I endured
He was careful not to let
Them see
But today I was nothing…
And my children got to see
I filed for divorce
I stayed in our home
I endured much abuse
During those long months
But when I stood in the
Court house
He pleaded with the judge
He loved me and would
Marry me again
But this was not Love!
I stood up strong and
Opened my mouth
I said my final words
I do not want this
Marriage
I would never go back
To him
I left the court house
And when I reached my truck
A dozen red roses were inside
But it was still locked!
He approached me
But I stood firm
I drove away free that day
Happy my children were with me
And that their futures will be
Bright and gay
But the days, weeks and months
To follow
Were not as pleasant as they seemed
My phone was tampered with
Calls from his friends making inquiries
Hang up calls
Calls of threats filled the days
I kept quiet
I didn’t want my children
To live in fear
I stood up strong
To my abuser
But my family and friends
They did not see the same
For I was so careful
About hiding all of my pain
And whenever they get the chance
They remember him by name
But now my abuser
Has passed on…
Many glorify his name
Why don’t women
Tell about their abusers?
They will be put to shame
Gossip and lies will surround them
Their children will endure the pain
No one was there
When the abuse was happening
No one lived what I lived
But they judge and chastise me
They try to put me to shame
My Father above
Loves me
He helped me heal the pain
He showed me the beauty inside me
He has healed all of my pain
Why do women endure such abuse?
Because
No one
Is
Listening!
They do not want to
Know
The
Truth!