Unflinching Trust

Dave glanced between two train cars and scanned around him; I think I can make it. He grabbed the steel ladder handle and hoisted himself up. He twisted his body around between the two cars. A thin ledge jutted out from the car. He sat down. A single bar protruded from one side. He grabbed hold of it. The poignant smell of grease and oil permeated the air. The whistle blew and the train slowly pushed forward. A gust of wind swirled dust between the cars. Dave shivered and grasped the bar tighter. A sudden jolt pushed him forward and back again, forcing his coatless back against the cold metal. The train creaked and a grating sound pierced the air. Another deafening whistle sounded, and it began to pick up speed. Dave looked down. Under the coupler the ground sped by, one tie after another. Within minutes, they were all a blur. He looked up to settle his dizziness. The massive train yard was behind them and they were headed towards the mountains and home. A few hours later, Dave looked at his hands. They were bright red. The relentless wind and cold gnawed at him. They were ascending the Rocky Mountains. The temperature plummeted. Another hour passed. The intense sense of momentum pulled him forward. Forward. To where? To whom? Why must I be plunged into a future of hopelessness? Who is forcing me to go there? A sudden burst of cold and wind whirled between the cars, bringing with it a cloud of powdery snow. It filled his chest with what felt like ice. He breathed out, forming his own cloud. As hunger ripped at his stomach, an even heavier pain than cold and hunger laced his heart. Loneliness. I don’t want to go on. I’ve tried everything. I didn’t know all the partying and freedom to do as I please would be this empty. I’ve hurt so many people. I’m done. Suicide. It’s the only way out. Dave looked down at the blur as the ground whipped by. “I need to put an end to my misery. Let go and fall beneath it’s wheels.” As he stared at the ground, contemplating his next move, the coupler came into focus. It’s intricate hook design was curved at just the perfect angle to grasp and securely hold the tons of weight bearing down behind him. “I will hold you. Fast.” Dave looked up. A serene sense of God permeated him. The majestic mountains whizzed passed. “Oh God!” He cried, “If you care about me, save me! I’m freezing! I’m dying! If you save my life today... I’ll spend the rest of my life in your service!” His eyes widened, wondering what the repercussions were of what he just declared. He tilted his head to one side, as if listening, or waiting for something to happen. The rhythm of the train clattered on, and he still felt frozen and hungry. But a sense of peace pervaded him. I will hold you fast. Dave looked up at sky. The air was so cold and brittle that one wrong move might crack it. I will soon find out if God cares, only He can rescue me now. Dave looked down at his pitiful self. All that was left of him was a half frozen coatless body. His boots were so worn that the heels were almost as flat as the toes. Move. I must move to keep alive. He looked at his fist and tried to move his hand. It didn’t budge. Hours later… A screech of brakes echoed into the frosty air. Dave sat stiff against the car. Where were they? Was he still alive? He looked down. A layer of snow coated him. He looked at his hands, still clutching the steel bar. He could not feel them. The train came to a stop. “Son!” a bearded man in dirty coveralls yelled. Dave looked up. “Here, let me help you!” The stranger slowly tried to pry Dave’s hands from the bars. “Ouch!” Dave said. The stranger stopped and waited. After a few moments, he tried again. Dave groaned. Carefully, the man set his feet on the ground. “Can you walk?” he asked, with wide eyes. Dave tried to stand and gave a cry as pain shot through every muscle in his body. “N...No.” “Lean on me, I’ll be your crutch,” the burly man said. “Let’s get something to eat.” “Who...who are you, and ...where... am I?” Dave whispered, barely able to make his mouth move. “I’m just a brakey for the CPR, and you’re in Calgary.” Dave leaned his weight on the man. “Oww!” Dave cried out. “I...I can’t walk.” The stranger held him up. “It’s OK, take your time.” Dave groaned and yelled as he forced his legs to move. The two entered the station and a blast of heat from a wood stove hit them. The man took Dave near the snapping fire and sat him on a bench. “Thank you, Thank you.” Dave’s eyes misted over. After half an hour, the stranger took him into the station’s restaurant and ordered coffee and a bowl of soup. “Here, you stay and eat, I’ll be back.” Dave shook as he attempted to fill the spoon with the steaming liquid. I haven’t tasted anything this good since...since I was a boy.” he thought. The stranger returned and sat down opposite him. “I don’t know who you are or where you’re headed but you are more than lucky to be alive. It’s –45 c out there. I’d say someone had to be watchin’ over ya.” he glanced at the ceiling. “Anyhow, you’ll be needin’ this.” He handed Dave a sheepskin coat. Dave coughed. “Thank you. Thank you… you...saved my life.” He shuddered to think of the miracle that had just taken place. ———————————————————————————- Dave looked down. It was the next day. A new sheepskin coat covered his torso but everything else about him was worn and faded. He had lost weight. Although he was short, he had always been husky, but now, his once muscular chest was now slightly sunk. Did he really want to do this? He stood on the sidewalk just down from his childhood home. It was Christmas Eve. After hopping another train, he had made it to Moosejaw. The neighbour’s homes still looked the same. The same fence that had lined the street for years, even the same faded and peeling red and green Christmas lights the neighbours brought out every December 1. The same streetlamps with the same cracked bulb cover where he had practiced his slingshot. The snow crunched under every step of his worn soles. His home came into view. The deck still stood strong out front. The deck he had played cars on along the top of the spindles. The many times he had hid behind those spindles to spy on neighbours as they worked in their yards. “You’ve failed miserably. Not only are you a dismal loser, but you’ve caused a lot of pain for your Mother. Who do you think you are to just go home when you are in need? Do you really think they’ll accept you with all the pain you’ve caused them? You will never be one of them. You are no longer an innocent young lad. You’re a hardened criminal that has delved into all kinds of sin. You should be in jail. Things will never be the same because you are not the same. You’re worse. Go back to drinking the bitter dregs you outcast...” The thoughts pierced his heart as he stepped closer. I’m a failure. An underdog, the talk of every prayer meeting in this area, no doubt. I’m not the hero that I’ve always wanted to be. I’m the villain, the one that is to be avoided at all costs lest I taint unsuspecting and naïve children. My reputation is shot.” Dave stopped. “I can’t…” “Arthur David! Is that really you?” Dave whipped around. “Mother!?” “Oh David!” The groceries she held crashed to the frozen ground. Suddenly, he was surrounded. Surrounded by the wool coated arms of his Mother. Dave stared dumb founded at the orange that rolled past and the half-opened egg carton that oozed smashed eggs. He forced his eyes to look at his Mother’s face. Behind her black rimmed glasses lines creased around her dark eyes. Looking deeper, a warmth shone from them that he hadn’t noticed when he was at home. A mysterious joy radiated from them like when it rains and the sun is still shining. “Mother.” his voice cracked. Tears threatened to come but