Enjoying The Courtship & Marital Dances

Chapter 1

The Way of Man with Maiden

The Way of Man with Maiden is a wonder of wonders that goes back to First-Man, who lived in a gorgeous garden called Eden. (This story is a paraphrased account of the first man and woman, Adam and Eve, as recorded in Genesis 1:26 to Gen 2:15.)

First-Man had all he wanted but was sad for reasons he knew not. His Maker saw the sadness and knew what was missing. He put First-Man into a deep sleep and then created a helpmate and companion for First-Man. When finished, He declared His final creation to be very good, the most exquisite of all His creations. First-Man should be pleased.

When First-Man awakened from his sleep, the Creator’s masterpiece was at his side. That masterpiece was a young maiden—so like First-Man, yet so eloquently different. These two, the first man and woman, defined and enjoyed the first Courtship Dance.

In time, the Creator asked First-Man how he liked his new companion. “Oh, she is gorgeous! Her voice, her eyes, and her touch are the most lovely and magnificent of all Your creations. Thank you for giving me such a beautiful gift.”

The Master Creator looked at His ultimate creations: the first man and woman. He was pleased by what He heard and saw; He blessed them and said unto them, “Multiply and fill the earth.”

And so was born the first Marital Dance, the seedbed for all humanity.

The Trail of Wonders

As a wee laddie buck, I squeezed memory to its limits and came to a startling conclusion: since I could not remember a beginning, I had always existed. I was part of an immortal family comprised of my masters (called Poppa and Momma in German), my superiors (older brothers), and my younger sisters (who, unfortunately for me, were girls). When I was a small boy, life was all wonder. If I was immortal, what did it mean to have a birthday? Why was I only six years old? Why were my sisters physically different?

The answer to those fundamental wonders of life hit the pride of my being with hurricane force. Within a short period of maybe ten minutes, I was reduced from the majestic state of immortality to the status of a mere mortal—with a beginning more humble than the limits of my imagination.

I was picking strawberries with a new friend, as wee a lad as I. As boys often do, he expounded on his knowledge by explaining the facts of life in graphic detail. What he said was unbelievable to an immortal such as I. No way! Maybe what he related was true for him but not for me. If I had a beginning, it was surely nobler than what he described. In response to my unbelief, he assured me that all he said was true since his parents had demonstrated the details. From the perspective of a boy, my trail of wonders had a lowly beginning.

If my friend was right, then my father and mother defined my origin. That didn’t go over well in the mind of this boy. To start me, my poppa and momma had to be intimate. No way! I never saw my father touch my mother in affection, let alone in an intimate embrace. I knew my mother; she would not tolerate any embrace from Poppa. They slept in separate bedrooms, making intimate embrace impossible. Moreover, there were six of us kids. It was unthinkable that Poppa and Momma had ever touched in a single voluntary, intimate embrace, let alone been intimate six times. Those realities settled it: my strawberry-picking friend suffered from nightmarish hallucinations that he took for real.

That was the beginning of my journey on the trail of wonders. The next wonder was the dramatic change in me that I could not have imagined as a boy. That mysterious wonder started early in life when I learned that there were two types of people: boys and girls. As a boy, I could not understand why God created girls and women. Girls were icky, without reason or benefit—at least that is how they looked through this boy's eyes.

In time, I experienced a strange and disturbing change. Occasionally, I gave a second look at some of the young maidens, and then a third look. What was going on? Unbelievably, I developed a strong desire to have one of those strange creatures for my own. My boyhood memories blushed in disbelief at that reality. The icky became desirable as gooey batter turned into chocolate cake.

With that reality, I was introduced to and became part of the delightful Courtship Dance that led to the mysterious Marital Dance, when I became one with an icky one and wondrously lived happily ever after. After sixty-plus years, we are still dancing as one.

How Mysterious and Marvelous Are Your Wonders, Oh Lord!

Marital Realities

The Courtship and Marital Dances have many faces, from the beautiful and graceful to the awkward and uncoordinated. In its worst form, the Marital Dance can be vulgar, degrading, and even deadly. Most marital jokes relate to the negative perception of marriage, as illustrated by the following jokes taken from memory.

• It is tragic: Jane and Harry never knew true happiness until they married. Then it was too late; their fate was sealed.

• The best way to learn your faults is to get married.

• Remember, when you have the last word with your spouse, that was your last word.

The above are humorous because they have an element of truth. Still, they raise a troubling question: How can the intensity of first love turn so quickly to dislike and even hate? The answer is complex, but it has its roots in reality.

Love is pure. Unattended, it easily turns rancid. Rancid love is relatively common, as confirmed by the high divorce rate. Unfortunately, rancid love can easily turn into deadly hate that often shows itself in suicide and murder. Tragically, I know of six people who died due to stale love that turned toxic and out of control. Fortunately, my father’s faith, according to his words, saved my mother from being victim number seven in my circle of friends and relatives.

The above is similar to some medicinal ads that promise good health and then declare that the medicine can result in severe illness even unto death. With that reality, who needs the medicine? Likewise, who needs marriage that can result in emotional carnage and the termination of a sacred relationship?

In keeping with this book, Matthew 19:5–6 paraphrased says: The two shall [dance] as one. What God has joined together let no man disassemble.

From the above, marriage comes with the highest credentials:

Marriage was born in the mind of God.

The Biblical Marital Dance

The Marital Dance relates to the way of life after the wedding ceremony. After you say the traditional “I do,” the Marital Dance begins. From that point forward, the Marital Dance is what you and your spouse make it.

Dancing is a dynamic performance to the beat of music and a prescribed set of procedures defined by choreography. Dancing has many faces, from the beautiful and graceful to the degrading and vulgar. Dancing is like a white sheet of paper—pure and clean but easily soiled. Keeping the Marital Dance white is the objective.

Basics of a beautiful and graceful dance:

• Music, which sets the rhythm and tempo

• Choreography, which defines the composition and arrangement of the dance

• Dancers who perform to the music and choreography