I Call Him Jehovah Jireh

As the sun began to rise outside the walls of this enormous hospital, I was reminded that this was the day that our Lord had made. I wasn’t so sure about being able to rejoice and be glad in it. Let’s be honest and not judgmental here; I really couldn’t see any reason to rejoice. Haven’t you had days like that?
Robert was moved to SICU (Surgical Intensive Care Unit) even though there had been no surgery involved. We were led to the family waiting room to sit and wait and pray. It wasn’t long before the room began to fill up with church members who were our friends, our family away from home, our encouragement, God in flesh that offered hope and peace. More than once, these people joined hands to form a huge circle of prayer warriors. Since this was a Friday, many had to go to work. One by one, the number of supporters slowly decreased, but rarely were we ever alone in that waiting room. Later in the day, the Social Services nurse escorted the boys and me to a small room to discuss his condition and what we could anticipate in the days ahead. She explained that the right frontal lobe of his brain had been deprived of blood and was basically dead. That particular lobe was the center for such things as creativity, self-discipline and self-control, short term memory, logic, as well as the control of muscles on the left side of his body. She told us that there was a chance that he had lost all of his ability to read music because that was considered creative. When she said that he would be very self-oriented or selfish, I almost rebuked her. I remember telling her that she could not possibly be talking about the man to whom I was married.
There were so many hours of waiting in that room for the short window of time that we could go into his ICU room for a few minutes and be with him. When the time came, every visit was like being on a roller coaster. Some visits gave us hope that he was doing good. Other visits broke my heart because he didn’t respond at all. There were tubes in every part of his body. He did manage to pull one out that he didn’t like. He was medicated to relieve the pain in his head. When they fed him through the feeding tube, his heart stopped. He recalled the nurse running into his room, jumping on the bed, straddling him and proceeding with CPR. Shortly afterwards they inserted a temporary pacemaker. His heart stopped two more times after that, but the pacemaker kicked in to keep him alive.

We had sold our house on Sunday, before Robert suffered his stroke on Friday. We had to move! Where? For the first time in my life, I thought about Jesus as the “homeless” person that He was. I had no clue how we would live; where we would live; what to do with all our possessions! My brain was on overload. My goodness, we still had sons at “home” that were dependent on us as parents! How could this be happening to our happy, normal family? Fact of the matter was, we had to get all this stuff out of this house.

My head was spinning out of control with “what if’s”. What if he doesn’t live? What if he lives, but is permanently an invalid? Where will we live? How will I be able to financially feed and shelter our family? On and on questions were rolling through my head. “Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.” Joshua 1:9

When trials and struggles, large or small come our way, it is so comforting to know that we have a wealth of friends on whom we can depend. But even more comforting is the fact that “there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.” Proverbs 18:24. Jesus is that friend. He also tells us in John 15:13-14, “Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends. You are my friends if you do what I command.” Isn’t it wonderful to know that Jesus is such a great friend that He would not only offer to lay down His life for us, His friends, He did it.

Throughout these 25 years since Robert’s stroke, we can proclaim that God has abundantly poured out blessing upon blessing in our lives. He has been and remains Jehovah Jireh, our Provider.