Parenting: A Journey of Faith While Navigating the Detours

Introduction

Thank you for your interest in this journey to become a grace-based parent. Our best efforts sometimes fail us as we watch our children take a detour from our expectations and God’s Word. I am not the author and finisher of my faith story. I would never have had the courage to write my parenting story and other parents’ experiences with the twists and turns it has taken. I have walked through seasons of devastation beyond what I thought I could survive. But I have also been incredibly blessed and humbled because God has proven himself faithful beyond my ability to comprehend.

The motivation for writing this book emanates from my experiences as a mother and from the encounters of fellow parents and believers in the Lord Jesus Christ who have many unanswered questions on the parenting journey. My inspiration for writing also came out of a realization of big-picture parenting. It came after a season when nothing made sense and it felt like God was abandoning me. It was a time filled with anxiety and heartbreak, and with many questions unanswered.

In my parental journey and counselling sessions, the experiential learning from thousands of parents raised many questions. I journaled them over several years, not sure of the direction, but as David in the Psalms delighted in the Lord, I obeyed to write this book. I tell my story to bring him glory! Can children abandon their values? Can children question their faith in God in a nerve-wracking way to parents and yet continue to function sanely? There were times in my parenting journey where I felt like a failure. I was embarrassed to ask for prayers or support from the body of Christ. I blamed myself. Where did I go wrong? What seemed to be a simple verse became complicated. Proverbs 22:6 states, “Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old, he will not depart from it.”

I needed a practical reality in parenting, not to undermine or take lightly the pain of seeing a child stray from faith. When falling away from grace in my parental journey, I was put in a place of surrender. I searched for answers. The healing came in the realization of my purpose, role, and calling as a parent. Christ’s death, burial, and resurrection make us brand-new. Forgiveness and turning to the Lord lets his Holy Spirit lead and guide us. I had an understanding of my relationship with God and my children. There was a calling to parents with a loving heart, joy, and grace. Faith in God is at the heart of what I am and what I do as a wife, parent, and friend in my day-to-day life!

I carry the hope we have in Christ to other parents. My parenting journey is not an end in itself; as Apostle Paul says in 2 Corinthians 4:5, “For what we proclaim is not ourselves, but Jesus Christ as Lord, with ourselves as your servants for Jesus’ sake.” This book is also for our children, who have so many experiences that do not make sense and the lessons learned from the anticipated perfect parental trip. The journey is not without yield signs, bumps, detours, pauses, and stop signs. This book points you to the source of joy in your journey by pointing you to God’s Word, the truth that sets you free when the journey gets weary. The blueprint still works—not to make you guilty but to liberate you.

Do I like the experience? Absolutely, and I cannot quit. I guess you may have a similar version of my journey. Parents’ best efforts sometimes fail them as they watch their children take a detour from their expectations, training, and teaching. The environment and cultural conflicts all too often play a part in children’s molding. Unfortunately, we cannot control the outcomes and have to watch the consequences of choices with a roller coaster of emotions.

It is challenging when our parenting journey looks nothing like we expected. What is an expected event turns out to be a process. However, instead of tying our hope to specific outcomes, let us connect ourselves to the very heart of God. You as a parent may not be able to see it right now, but the story God is writing for our children and us is ultimately so much better than anything we could write ourselves. Maybe you have been praying and reasoning with God. Hannah’s release of Samuel reveals the attitude all Godly parents should adopt: “O LORD of hosts, if You will indeed look on the affliction of Your maidservant and remember me, and not forget Your maidservant, but will give Your maidservant a son, then I will give him to the LORD all the days of his life” (1 Samuel 1:11).

Nevertheless, though you know the Scripture lays out clear principles, all you can think is you dedicated your child to the Lord and taught him so that when he grows, he will not depart from it. And you know sons and daughters are like arrows to be aimed—and then released, as the psalmist states: “Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are children of one’s youth” (Psalm 127:4). You say, “My children are not mine to keep, but mine to develop for God’s glory.” However, in my sight, it is pain, tears, restlessness, anger, and bitterness that do not make sense. It is too hard to bear to watch a child’s detour from your expectations, to live with this disability on a child and detour from the truth of God’s Word and upbringing. Maybe you are double-minded to continue serving God and continue with the fellowship in a troublesome circumstance.

Whatever situation you are in, God has a message for you as a parent. In the process, let us equip ourselves with the truth of God’s Word to keep us sane and fulfill our ambassadorial calling. Apostle Paul stated in the book of Corinthians, “No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation, he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it” (1 Corinthians 10:13).