Defining Moments

Chapter 6 Trusting When Life Doesn’t Make Sense But blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord, whose confidence is in him. He will be like a tree planted by the water that sends out its roots by the stream. It does not fear when heat comes; its leaves are always green. It has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit. (Jeremiah 17: 7, 8) Things go better in life if we trust God. I have a history with the subject of trusting God, and I must admit that it wasn’t always pleasant. Jeremiah’s prophecy would have read, “a tree planted in a barren desert where it never rained,” and no worries would have been changed too many worries. Things had been good with my life, but for a while, it went from bad to worse. I just wanted to give up trying. What I am leading up to is that even though I had committed my life to Jesus Christ, things were not always as I expected. There were worries, mainly providing for my family. Up to a point, things had gone so well in my Christian life that I hadn’t learned much about what it means to trust God when my need was bigger than myself. My Story What follows next could be called a “saga,” a long, detailed account, because I am not the only one who faces situations when trusting God. It is not only difficult but faith challenging. I was 40 years old, president and board chairman of a small bank. Even though I was well respected in my city and satisfied by my board of directors, I told them I would be resigning to accept a position with a Christian organization. However, arrangements fell through with the organization. Now, what should I do? The board offered to have me stay on, but after some serious thought, I felt that I should trust God to find me another banking position. My wife never said anything, but inwardly I knew she thought I was making a big mistake. When a few months went by, and there was no job, it did look like I had made a mistake. God, why are you so slow? I know you will find me a job, but when? I have mortgage payments to make. So we sold a bigger house and bought a cheaper one. I finally did get a job with a small investment management firm, but it would only last six months if either party wanted out. Six months arrived, and they wanted out. I didn’t have hurt feelings. I was looking for a job before they hired me, and now I am looking for a job again. One of the partners gave me a book called, Decision Making in the Will of God, by Gary Friesen. He must have figured I would be faced with trusting God to make the right decisions. Not seeing another available job, I thought I would go into the investment management business on my own and needed to rent an office. A few months went by with no clients and no money to pay office rent. I didn’t know whether I was self-employed or unemployed. One of the most painful times in my saga was waiting on God when I had failed to make two payments on the house. Don’t get me wrong; I wasn’t just sitting around, discouraged. I left the house almost every day looking for a job. I would wake up Monday morning thinking, “This week. I will get a job.” By Thursday, discouragement set back in. The saga went on. There came a time when I thought, God, why did you let me quit my banking job? Look at the mess I’m in. Don’t you think I should be treated better? With friends like you, who needs enemies? It’s shameful some of the thoughts I had when things weren’t going my way. I am hurt, hurting, God, don’t you understand? Finally, I was offered a position at a real estate brokerage firm. Things went well for a time, but then the real estate market fell apart. No income. When that happened, I contacted a firm in Atlanta that did financial planning and investment management. They hired me and it looked like I had a job for the rest of my career. However, this would not be the case. After three years, I was told I wouldn’t be needed any longer. A merger with another firm made me “excess baggage.” It was a revolting development at the age of 57, wondering who wants to hire someone at my age? As severance pay, I would be paid for six months and access to a job placement firm. When it wasn’t providing results, I met with the placement manager to sing my woes. How much worse can my situation get? I was hurting so bad; tears came to my eyes. What is God Doing? Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding, in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight. (Proverbs 3:5, 6) I learned much from reading Gary Friesen’s book on decision making, given to me when I needed it. Every part of Proverbs 3:5, 6 played a part in helping me trust the Lord. He doesn’t have to tell us what He is doing, why He is doing it, how long it will it take for Him to do it, or what it will mean to me when it is finished. The six months after I was told that my job would end but I would continue to be paid, I wasn’t expected to come into the office. However, I did go in, using the time to learn the successful business strategy of the firm that cost me my job. As I learned, my knowledge and understanding of stock markets grew…