In Search of My Parent

I am a child born into the family of God, when life was good I felt blessed and close to God. My mom made us knew the Lord at a young age, she sends us to church and Sunday school. As soon as I started to face trouble and tribulation and going through trials, I would detach myself from God and wanted it handle life on my own. To me a God I could not see were not real. He were not around to be there for me and give me the power and strength to face my struggles and see me through ; that what I thought, God was just like my dad who wasn’t there for me. Pastor Neverson scratch her head and asked Tina, did you think that God abandon you too. I answered although I knew that God was the only and closest to a father, but I had little faith in Him and still could not trust Him. Pastor my faith was weak. Pastor Neverson listened to Tina, with anticipation. Then said to me; you said you grew up in a Christian home and you had to go to church, so how was your faith in all this? Tina replied. I Knew the Lord as my heavenly father and felt that Gad was calling me to seek Him, and know Him more as a father, but my question was how can I relate to God as a father, when my own father rejected, despised, and gave up his responsibilities as a father. How can I trust God as my father? The good news however, that my understanding of fatherhood is not limited to my earthly father, because he is not what define a father. God is. I considered God call first through a young woman, a young evangelist for Jesus Christ I was sick in the hospital and this young woman visited me every day and told me about the love of God and Jesus Christ HIS son. She told me that God is my father and that He loves me so much, HE sent His only Son Jesus Christ to dies for me.so by God sending his son to die for me I can live a better life, Although I was going to Church at an early age, I wanted to trust God and have a relationship with Him, the abandonment I felt from my father prevented me from trusting God whole-heartedly. This was the first time I had a personal encounter with God, and saw Him as my heavenly father and took Him as the earthly father I never had. I accepted Jesus Christ God Son as my personal Savior; I would talk to Him, in prayer, and told Him everything that was bothering me. God and Jesus became my confidant, when I could not talk to anyone else, I knew I could talk to God and I felt safe with Him. I saw Christ in that young woman and wanted to be just like her. This woman changes my life completely. I left the hospital filled with the Holy Spirit, who give me the utterance of love and joy to begin witnessing and handing out religious materials to my teachers and classmate. Pastor Neverson said “Praise God” Life were not all bad, and things I used to do for fun , after Sunday School which were a must, my friends and sibling and I will go for long walks, our favorites venue was to walk through Aerie. Aerie is a small long narrow strip of land that separates two neighboring villages. Being on the hill top and looking down at the beauty of the vegetation in the valley below reminds me of the splendor of God’s creation. I took for granted God amazing work in my lives, just as He cares for the flowers and the trees, He cares for me too. So I reflected on God as my father, and pastor Neverson that what Psalm 139 was saying that God form me and knew me even before I was born, and I am fearfully and wonderfully made . Isn’t that wonderful Pastor Neverson? Yes, Tina that is so wonderful. Then I sat down and write this poem .I love to put my thoughts in writing by, writing poems. God’s Beauty by Tina As we walked together my friends and I along a dirt and deserted road With no one insight There were only rooms for two Along the winding road We kept going forward, to see where it would lead The narrow path before us Cover with carpet of grass and weed No feet had passed that way No sign of civilization Yet the beauty of the villages below Reminds me of the beauty of God’s creations My heart was filled with wander As my feet, softly touch on carpet of moss. When I were half way across I looked back to see how far God has brought me Along life rugged way A bright flash of color caught my eyes As I reach on the other side Horns of cars driving back and forth Laughter of children as they play. Lights everywhere Yet I will never forget how beauty abound Along that deserted road My friends and I have found. Splendor abound in the valley on moonlight nights, all the children would come out and play ‘coopie- coopie’ was a game like hide and seek. And ring games in our back yard. Those were the days when there were no radios and TV and children would have to go outside and play; we played games like: Amy Amy coming down, was a ring game where the players form a semi-circle and the player had a bunch of roses, these games were played in song, and we will sing to the top of our lungs, Amy Amy coming down with a bunch of roses, coming down, and she walk in style, coming down, and she dance meringue coming down, and she chose a partner, coming down, and they dance meringue. And the other person will be Amy. All you had to do was to just act out the words of the song. I lost my gloves on a Saturday night, this game were played in song : you form a circle, and and you again follow the words of the song: I lost my gloves on a Saturday night, I found it Sunday morning, I wrote a letter to my wife and post it Monday morning, rain come, sun shine, drop peter drop; then you drop the belt, and then you run to get back in your spot, before the person with the belt catch you, Jane and Louisa will soon come home darling, soon came home out of the beautiful garden, how will you love me to pick a rose, darling, so Louisa pick a rose from Jane. How will you love me waltz with you darling, then Jane will waltz, and two others players will be Jane and Louisa again all these games are played in songs And many more, these are Caribbean games we played in the Islands. The parents would cook breadnut and roasted corn for the children while we played. All of the other children mother and father would come out and enjoy the games as the children played, but I would notice the empty space of my missing father.