Introduction.
“For I know the plan I have for you declares the Lord. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 28:11 NIV
My oldest child Ikechukwu, Ike (E-kay) as he was fondly called drowned on a lake while hanging out with friends one month after graduating from High School. He was 18 years old. He was NOT the reckless type! Six months after his death New Year Eve I was in my closet wailing bitterly into a pillow so my children would not hear. I could feel the presence of God there in my closet. He seemed to wait for me to stop crying. When I did, I could hear Him letting me know that it grieves Him that I was still crying bitterly six months after Ike came to Him. Onwegi ihe ojoo mere gi (I did you no wrong) I heard Him say to my spirit. You have six months left to publish the book about Ike that should be published by his one-year memorial. I have another assignment for you. I need you to write a second book with the title GLOWING IN GOD THROUGH THE LOSE OF A CHILD. My child you do not have time to spend crying. Get your self together. I have given you all the grace you need to accomplish that which I have assigned to you.
I hope you are comfortable with me saying that God speaks to me. If you believe in God through Jesus Christ, you should hear God speak to you. He is constantly speaking to us as a father would in any relationship. The bible is written as God spoke to His people. Jesus said, “My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me.” John 10:27 NIV. “Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, "This is the way; walk in it.” Isaiah 30:21 NIV
The book about Ike, LOSING IKE TO GOD AND HOW GOD COMFORTED US was written by His grace and published before his one-year memorial.
I did not think that the word “GLOW”, Ike’s death, intense pain, and suffering belong together. This is so because I interpreted the “GLOW” in the secular sense of the word. But the GLOW in the eyes of GOD is a lot different. God always wants us to reflect His image as we Glow in Him.
This catastrophic event eventually catapulted me into a quest for the value of pain and suffering. As a Pediatric Emergency Medicine physician, I have stared at the face of human pain and suffering. Is there a purpose for pain and suffering in our existence? Why do we go through incredible heart wrenching painful ordeals? “Sorrow is one of the biggest facts in life.” -- Oswald Chambers. Why would a good God allow so much pain & suffering? Afterall He is Omnipotent and Almighty God. When my father died sixteen years before Ike died, I struggled with these questions. The beginning of 2014, the year Ike died my relationship with God seem to be deepening on many levels. I spent more time with God in prayer and bible reading. Little did I know that our sovereign God was preparing me for Ike’s exit. When Ike died, I never questioned whether God is good. I never even asked Him why Ike. I felt He was trying to do something that required Ike to go back to heaven. At the same time, the value of pain and suffering still eluded me. Somewhere in my subconscious I felt that pain and suffering have a value that is too pure almost divine for us to go after on our own! I felt its value must be forced on us for us to be able to grasp it. I also felt pain and suffering were needed for us to be who we are created to be and achieve our purpose for God on this earth and in the life to come.
This book is about how God pursued me through the dark slippery terrains of Sorrow, Grief, and Depression. How God rebuilt me doing the things that only Him can do and giving me the grace to do the part that He God had assigned me to do. I felt He was inviting me on a journey that will change me at every bend and bridge-crossing. As we journeyed, I learnt things about God and about myself that I am convinced could ONLY be taught through my pain and suffering and no other way! Leaning completely on His presence and comfort He was able to restore the joy-of-the-Lord by healing me completely from all pain, shame, sorrow, and grief. Yes, Complete healing is completely possible after the death of a child!
As I am writing this book it has been 6 years since Ike transited. I hope through the pages of this book to give hope to all who are grieving the loss of a loved one especially the loss of a child. I will share the process by which I arrived at complete healing through His grace, love, and comfort. Sharing this I believe is one of the reasons I had to go through what I went through; to enable me to help others who are struggling with the loss of a child. “who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God. ….”2 Corinthians 1:4 NIV
I strongly believe we are sent to planet Earth for God-given purposes. Some of those purposes entail us going through the ‘valley and shadow of death’ to get to the side where accomplishing our purposes is made possible as a result of wisdom acquired in the’ valley and shadow of death’. It is impossible to remain the same if we become pliable as raw gold is in the hands of the our Goldsmith, - God and allow God to refine us as the Goldsmith refines Raw Gold to get it to Shine - “Glow”. We will not be the same after the heating, melting, molding, cooling, and shining process. Just like Gold we will Glow and reflect His image as we were created to do! “But He knows where I am going. And when he has tested me, I will come out as pure as Gold” Job 23:10 NLT