A Thief in the Pantry

Our daughter, Janette, was spending the day with her mother while I had some time out. Col-ville Park was my favorite place to let down and relax. Often, in addition to the private pleasure boats, huge tows of commercial barges would pass by, propelled by powerful tugboats. And, most fun of all, was seeing one of the Mississippi cruise boats leaving the Red Wing port, ac-companied by festive calliope music. When the weather was nice, I enjoyed leisurely walks on the trails along the river.

In winter, the park attracted many eagle watchers outfitted with cameras with long tel-ephoto lenses. I liked spring time best because I could watch the eagles soar on wind currents high above the river. It reminded me of the words of Isaiah:

Even youths grow tired and weary,

and young men stumble and fall;

but those who hope in the LORD

will renew their strength.

They will soar on wings like eagles;

they will run and not grow weary,

they will walk and not be faint.

Isaiah 40:30-31

As I watched the eagles soar, I thought, if youths grow tired and young men stumble, what about old men with heavy burdens? Again, I placed my hope in the Lord, and He helped me renew my vow to care for Jan. But I knew she was declining.

My cell phone chirped. Janette’s name appeared on the screen. “Hi Janette,” I answered. I could hear her breathing, but she didn’t speak. “Janette, are you all right?”

She spoke through tears, “Dad, it’s time to take Mom to the bathroom, but I can’t get her up from her chair. I’m afraid she will fall. She’s upset with me. Can you come home?”

“Yes, I’ll be there in ten minutes. I’m at the park. Just wait until I get there.” We hung up and I dashed toward home. On the route home, I passed the Minnesota Correctional Facility. The main building is old and forbidding. The high chain-link fence with hooked top and barbed wire added to the daunting look of the facility. I thought, What would it be like to be in there? I feel confined by Jan’s needs, but that’s nothing compared to a place like that. Lord, I trust you. Please help me to not grow weary.

At home, Janette was heartbroken. She felt that she had let me down by asking me to come home, knowing how much I needed the relief her visits provided. And, her mom’s anger hurt her deeply. By this time, Janette had been making the four-hour round trip to our home eve-ry other week for over six years. Janette’s love language is gift giving, so she never arrived empty handed. A day or two before a trip, she would bake bread, make a casserole and often a sweet treat to take along. She was determined to help me care for her mom for as long as she lived, but she was growing weary too. I knew we were one step closer to placing Jan in memory care. With Kelli’s graduation making her unavailable and Jan’s legs weakening I began to feel the inevitable had come. We got Jan settled and Janette felt comfortable enough for me to leave; this time not to the relaxing city park, but to our church to pray.

“God,” I pleaded, “What am I going to do? You know how much I want to care for Jan as long as she lives. I know I could die before she does. Lord, I can’t keep putting the load on my daughters. Thank you for all they have given.” I continued to pray and appeal to God for an-swers. I’m not sure how long I lingered in the sanctuary of our church. I felt close to God in this special place where I had spent so many hours over the past years. My phone beeped and I glanced at the print-out. “Hello, Delores,” I answered. “What’s up?”

Delores, the owner and director of Hope Residence responded, “I wanted to let you know that I have a room available for Jan if you are interested.”

“Strange you would call just now. We have reached the point where we have to make some changes. Kelli, our helper, has graduated from nursing school and is not available anymore. It’s getting harder for my daughters to help Jan. Tell me what you have in mind.”

“I’m at my office now. Would you like to come over?”

“Sure, I’ll be there in a few minutes.” I gave thanks to God for His constant care, grabbed my things and headed across town, praying for wisdom. Delores met me at the door with a smile. “You made that trip in record time,” she said as she led me down a short hall to a pleasant room. We talked about options and then she added, “Marv, I’ve been thinking. Would you be interest-ed in coming here for your meals and helping Jan with hers? I would provide your meals in ex-change for helping her. That would keep my aides free to help other residents.”

That sounded appealing. “Delores, you have been so kind to keep me on your list for sev-eral years now. I want to be open with you as we make this decision. Janette has been looking at facilities in her area. It may be necessary for Jan and me to move closer to her. Would you be willing to hold your offer for a few days while we work this out?”

“Sure. This room needs some cleaning and decorating. I’ll hold it for you until the end of the month.” I drove back home praising God.

My vow to care for Jan “as long as we both shall live,” was heavy on my mind. I was thankful that we had two viable options. Once again, it was decision time. This decision seemed more critical than any.