Simple Trust

I hate pain! Any kind of pain is awful. Physical pain can be debilitating, but there is something about an inner ache that can be far worse. The pain I am referring to is emotional pain or what we often call heartache. If you are reading this devotional then you have experienced some type of internal pain. There are some of you that may have experienced more heartache than you thought possible. And the question shouting out amidst all that pain, demanding an answer is: What is the purpose of pain? This is a fair question, but there is no easy answer.

As I have contemplated this devotional I have done a fair bit of internalising. I have found myself going down the corridors of my mind, picking off scabs and opening old wounds as I searched to find meaning in my pain. In many ways, it has been a painful process as memories, some happy and others not, have come to the surface again.

I do believe that memory is a gift. It allows us to reflect on the past and make wise choices for the future. One moment it fills our hearts with warmth and the next with sadness. Even painful memories serve a purpose in our lives because without them we would be less than human.

As I reflected on my pain let me share my thoughts with you.

• Pain is not a normal state: A life filled with continual pain is not the norm and I do not believe God ever intended it to be so. However, there are times when pain does serve a purpose. Pain reveals that something is wrong and because of that we have to respond in some way or other to our pain. Responding to pain is human. Your first response may be anger or tears or regret and sorrow. That is a normal and natural response because it expresses your humanity. Holding pain in and not allowing some type of release is not good for your physical or mental well-being. Do not try to be brave—allow your broken heart release! Releasing your emotions is not weakness it is human. Most of all, allow God to walk with you through your pain and suffering.

• God is always with us in our pain: When our son Jay had a terrible car accident (written about in my memoir, Wild Hope), I went through the darkest hours of my existence as his sick and broken body hovered on the brink of death. I felt as if the angel of death was sitting right there waiting to snatch him up in his ugly grasp. I have never felt such desperation before or since. But God was there in my pain revealing His love through people, friends, our church community, and family from all around the world. In those dark moments God displayed His love to me in the most remarkable ways. It did not ease the pain, but I look back in the rear-view mirror of my mind and see His fingerprints in every detail of that awful time. Don’t push God away when you are in pain, allow Him to walk with you through your dark night.

• Pain reveals our humanity and capacity for love: I would never have known the internal pain for my son if I had not experienced the intense love I had for him. Blaise Pascal put it this way; “If you do not love too much, you do not love enough.” It is because I loved so deeply that I grieved so profoundly. And in that sense pain is a gift because if I had not known love, I would never have known this pain. Truth be told, my life is richer because of the ability to love so deeply. Can you imagine not feeling pain when there is loss? My pain exposes my humanity and my capacity to love. If I have never known pain then I have never known love. My humanity would be diminished without love and pain.

• Pain teaches us lessons we could never have learned elsewhere: I learned that life is short and the people I love can be snatched away in a moment. My dad always said to me as a young girl, “Life can change in a split second.” How true it is that one split second can change our lives forever.

Our days are numbered, and truth be told, none of us know when our time will come to breathe our final breath. Because of what we went through with Jay’s accident, our family has learned to value each moment we have with each other. We don’t think you can ever say, ‘I love you’ enough. Each moment with one another other is an extraordinary gift that we treasure. In our family, there will always be an echo of joy emanating from a memory of deep pain! Pain taught me to cherish each moment!

• Go through pain with grace: People are watching you in your pain. The world and the church are desperate for people who model suffering well. I well remember our long nightmare in the Trauma Intensive Care Unit of Carolina’s Medical Centre. Through the pain we lived out our faith during that time. Many people visiting their loved ones in that ward would ask us to come and pray for them. We had amazing opportunities to share our faith with the medical profession as well. I recall one nurse saying to Paul, “Thank you!” He asked why she was thanking him because we were so filled with gratitude for all the medical staff were doing for our son. She said; “Since you have been in this ward our records show people are getting better quicker. And the staff here are all getting along so much better since the Alexander’s came into this ward.” It was a humbling moment, but we were grateful that our faith was able to impact others during a time of our personal agony and trial.

If your heart is aching and you are wondering if you will ever smile again, be assured that the darkness will pass and the sun will shine again. The bible assures us; “Weeping endures for a night, but joy comes in the morning.” Your morning will come, but until then allow God to hold your hand and see you through this season. The Psalm in our devotion today ends by saying; “You turned my wailing into dancing; you removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy, that my heart may sing your praises and not be silent. The psalmist ends this portion with a crescendo; “Lord my God, I will praise you forever.” Coming through this time of heartache and pain leaves the psalmist with an emotion so strong that he can only conclude by saying he will never stop praising His God.

Whether your pain is from a broken relationship, the death of a loved one, a difficult marriage or a child gone astray, God will uphold you. The intensity of your pain will pass, the dawn will come and when the sun rises I assure you its beauty will be more astounding because of the darkness of your night. Be blessed, you are special and God loves you!

Reflection:

Write in as many sentences as you need the pain you are experiencing. Speak to God and let Him know what is in your heart. Have you shared your pain with a trusted friend who can pray for you? Ask God to reveal someone who can hold your hand through this dark night.