The Book of Matthew: For Jesus

Letter to the Reader,

Imagine, you tell others that God talks to you. And you talk back. Not a full-on conversation mind you. I talk… thinking happens, sometimes for days… then I talk back again. It goes in circles mostly, but the important part I’ve learned in ten years, is listening. I ask myself, am I listening to what God says to me? I expect that God is listening to me when I pray even the littlest prayers. I surely hoped He is listening.

Ten years I’ve been on this journey, on this road. It wasn’t until I was four years in when I finally really started listening. Only, it took me quitting to really start hearing what God was telling me. Quitting is hard to admit, but honesty with you my readers it’s an important part of this message.

It was a day like any day in September except it wasn’t, because that day I faltered. I had transcribed over two hundred pieces of art at that point and my vision of putting the bible into art form was fading. I went outside, looked up and yelled, “this is too hard!” So Many people I had told of my journey said I was mistaken. They told me my mission was too big for one person, and I was starting to believe them. I wasn’t understanding what God wanted of me. I needed guidance. I needed an income. My artwork was not bringing in enough money to buy supplies. I felt he wasn’t listening. I was disheartened. I was putting this project away. I went inside, cleaned up my desk and put all my tools away. Done. For two hours I cleaned and scrubbed my house while still talking at God through my rage, confusion and self-pity. I tried. I really thought I had tried my best. I hung my head in despair, feeling defeated. I decided to get away from my house and my thoughts, I headed to town to get away from my Lord. However, before I could get off my country road my husband called. He said he wanted to go to town with me and run errands. Maybe get some dinner. Great! I needed that! But once I turned my car around and found myself headed back home, I shrunk. I reluctantly went in. I stood in my kitchen for five minutes glancing into my art room all cleaned up. I quietly walked in, sat down at my desk and I placed the Holy Bible in front of me. I spoke to Him again, “Lord help me see what you want of me, tell me what to do!” I closed my eyes just like when I was a child. I open the Holy Bible somewhere past the middle, spun my finger around and landed. I curiously opened my eyes and saw the word “vision” within Habakkuk 2:1-3

“I will stand upon my watch, and set me upon the tower, and will watch to see what he will say unto me, and what I shall answer when I am reproved. And the Lord answered me, and said, Write the vision, and make it plain upon tables, that he may run that readeth it. For the vision is yet for an appointed time, but at the end it shall speak, and not lie: though it tarry, wait for it: because it will surely come, it will not tarry.”

I sat in disbelief. I looked the scripture up in every text I could find. I excitedly read each passage again and again written in different interpretations. My visions were not wrong. I smiled inside my heart. I started listening that day.

The very next morning upon waking, I knew that I was to open up the book of Matthew and start transcribing. I can’t tell you how I knew, but I knew like I knew my own name. From that day on, I have trusted in my Lord.

By the third chapter of Matthew the listening took another turn, this time in the form of feeling through Jesus Christ. I was spending hours in silence as I transcribed and listened to the story of Christ. I remember the morning I awoke realizing today I get to draw The Pearly Gates of Heaven. The feeling that little miracles were happening through my hands. I, who cannot write a shopping list without mistakes. I was finally feeling that my artwork was fulfilling the visions that the Lord had for me.

Eventually, I came to The Last Supper. Weeks I would spend on this piece alone, but time was not an issue. The Lord had told me so in Habakkuk 2:3. Then the day came to draw Jesus on the cross. The Crucifixion. I never in my life thought I would be able to draw many things, but of those things the face of Jesus Christ felt the furthest from my reach. Then to put it on the cover of a book for all to see. Well, it’s both terrifying and humbling. I remember after the crucifixion, the pain and suffering that I had felt while transcribing what Jesus experienced. It left me exhausted with tears rolling down my face. I wanted to rest after this piece, but I was not finished. I couldn’t stop. I still had one more piece to burn, and I had to do it immediately. This is the piece that brought me so much peace. What I had needed wasn’t a break. I needed to walk with Jesus in his resurrection. The Resurrection of Christ, this was one of my most joyous pieces.

You will find inside this book what God has asked of me. Truth. Honesty. Compassion. Love. This is the vision that the Lord gave to me. His words burned into leather in artform. It is a gift to my savior, Jesus Christ. I am honored to I invite you all to open these pages and share in this gift.

Kelly Kaye.