A Working Fellowship with Jesus, Your Lord

The following is an imaginary story designed to communicate the truths expressed in this book. The scene is of a father and mother visiting with their pastor. They are disturbed by their relationship with their daughter, so they visit their pastor to ask for prayer.

He enquires about their concern. Both confirm that communication with their daughter has seriously deteriorated. They confess frustration that every attempt to communicate with her results in anger—both from their daughter and from each of them.

“Pastor, we are asking you to pray for us. We urgently need patience. We love our daughter and know that we must do something to change the path she is traveling.”

The pastor replies, “I have no doubt you have prayed earnestly for patience, and you are here because you have not received an answer. I’ve got good news for you so that you can rejoice in the patience you are searching for and in restoring communication with your daughter. The Bible tells us the fruit of the Spirit is love. This is an extraordinary love, one unlike any other kind. It is what I call God-love. This extraordinary gift has been given to you. It manifests itself in a variety of ways, including in patience. Now, let me ask you a very important question. When you talk with your daughter, do your words and voices communicate God’s love to her? Or does your anger reveal your self-centeredness? Those are important questions. You must be honest with yourself.

“It is important to remember how much God loves you. You need to pray for God’s love to fill your hearts, minds, and tongues. When God-love is real in you and not just a theological idea, it will be evident in your heart and mind, in your words, and in your tone of voice. In contrast, your anger reveals that you are talking to your daughter from your self-centeredness and not from the love God has poured into you. You are supposed to be an agent of his love. As husband and wife, when you pray with each other, pray for God-love to become real in your hearts and minds and words. Then you will be patient with your daughter.

“Do you see how this is significantly different than just praying for patience? What this means is that you have a unique privilege to be involved in a working fellowship with Jesus your Lord. You and Jesus are laboring together. It’s not just you, your patience, and your daughter. Remember, he is Lord—not you. He is the one who will change attitudes and replace anger with patience. He will bless you with other manifestations of love, such as kindness and self-control. It is God’s love that brings healing and that will restore relationships between you and your daughter.

“Do you believe God’s love can do that? Do you believe Jesus is able do what you cannot do to renew and restore relationships? Believe! Pray wholeheartedly and trust unreservedly for God-love to flow through each of you in your attitudes, words, and tones of voice. Talk to your daughter with such love, and expect good things to happen because God is able and because you are in a working fellowship with him. To put this simply, in a phrase I use to help myself remember, you are in sales (i.e., you love her), but God is in management (i.e., he will change her). Don’t ever mix those two up.

“Believing in the Lord means trusting him to work according to his timetable with sovereign power to change both you and your daughter, according to His wisdom and eternal love.”

God is able! Believe him with confidence, and trust him with expectation. If you find you still have trouble with anger and impatience, check your love level with the Lord.