Power, Love, and a Sound Mind

One important way that I realized the power of no is in helping people. You have to realize, as I did, that you cannot solve every problem, you can’t fix every hurt feeling, and you definitely can’t make everybody happy. I think I just helped someone reading this book achieve a breakthrough with that statement! I felt it myself! You may be able to help someone along the way, and we should do what we can. But no, you can’t pay everybody’s bills. No, you can’t be up 24 hours a day to answer every email immediately or respond to every text message as soon as it is sent. Answer them when it is reasonable. No, you can’t be everything to everybody. No, you can’t come to every function, and no, you can’t make the sun shine or the rain fall. What’s my point? You are not God, and you must say no to the people who try to make you their god.

How do people do this? They, maybe inadvertently, place unreasonable standards on you. They expect to see you at every function even though they themselves don’t come to all of the events. They expect you to answer your phone whenever they call you, but when you call them, they are –you guessed it – too busy. It can be flattering at first thought that people hold you in such high regard. However, this can lead to burnout and frustration. I can imagine that there are many leaders, pastors, and executives that feel this way because people impose such high expectations on them. Sometimes, the expectations are so high that they cannot even attain the level of performance that is expected. As a result, they are left feeling like they have fallen short. Here is what we can say yes to – say yes to the expectations that God has for you.

Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.

Matthew 11:28-30 (NKJV)

Remember that God is always in charge – don’t change bosses. Stop putting people in charge of your schedule and let God handle it. Believe me, when you work for Him, He has the best retirement policy and benefits package around. You can’t beat God’s employment options. When you say yes to what God has, you will be surprised as to what will no longer interest you or bother you. You will learn to put material wealth in its place and understand the real value and use of money. You will value what has been in front of you the whole time. People, time, even a cup of coffee is so much more valuable when you focus on God and view life through the lens of His word. I even began to realize the value and importance of healthier food and moderate exercise. I don’t look for quick results or fads when it comes to improving my health. When you read the Word, it’s like the Word becomes food for your spirit and thereby nourishes your entire being. Don’t you ever wonder what it means when you hear ministers say to meditate on the Word? I would picture myself with eyes closed and trying to think of passages in the Bible to flow through my mind. But now I read my Bible and then just think about what the meaning is of what I just read. Then I read an interpretation of what I read for deeper understanding. And then I pray. God is the only One who can provide true meaning and understanding for His Word.

Before I began to walk in my purpose, I was overwhelmed, tired and exhausted from always working. I remember coming home late one evening and noticing that my house was in the same state that it was when I first bought it. You know, the unoccupied house scent, no sign of anyone living there, and no personal touches completed in many areas of the house. I looked around, and I asked myself, “What am I doing?” It was then that I asked God to take charge of my schedule. Now, when you ask God to do this, be ready because He is going to do just that, take charge. After I asked God to take charge of my schedule, I did not feel so pressured to always be at my desk at work. I began taking lunch breaks again at work, leaving work at more reasonable hours in the evenings, and drawing a line between work and personal life. I monitored my cell phone after hours less often. And then, I was able to focus more on God and less on other things. I still have a long way to go, but on this road trip, God is still driving. He doesn’t need my faulty GPS. He’s got this! Say no to foolishness, and say yes to all things that are of God.

Keep your focus on Him, and He will provide all that you need.