Accidental Christian
A Novel of Forgiveness
by
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Amber Grace Barton closed the book on mystics that Rachel had insisted she read and sat up on the bed when she heard a light knock on her door. Although Amber had shared her friend’s curiosity and harmless dabbling in the subjects of fortune telling and clairvoyance, no premonition warned her that this was going to be a conversation that would change her life. The door eased open and Amber’s grandmother came in and then stopped and just stood for a moment looking at her. Amber’s grandmother was a gentle woman, even subservient one could say, and she was the only mother Amber had ever known. “What is it?” Amber asked putting her book aside and standing up. Gram just walked toward Amber and wrapped her arms around Amber’s thin body. They stood silently holding each other for several minutes before Amber pushed back a little and looked into her grandmother’s soft troubled face. “Please, just tell me,” Amber said. Gram nodded. “Yes. Yes. Let’s sit.” So they sat beside each other on the bed. “It’s your mother, dear,” Gram said. “She’s coming home.” Amber stiffened. “What? Home? She’s coming home? Like you mean here home?” Gram nodded again. “When?” Amber asked and then it suddenly occurred to her that she first needed to ask the real question. “Why?” “Miriam said she would be here tomorrow,” Gram said. “But why? Why is she coming? Why now? I mean if she is coming back for my graduation then please tell her I don’t want that. I don’t need her to come for that. I don’t need her for anything.” “No, it’s not that,” Gram said, her words a bare whisper. “Miriam told me she is coming home…to… to die.” “What? Die? What does that mean?” Gram’s face crumbled and she stifled her whimper with her hand. “Die? That doesn’t even make any sense,” Amber continued. “She’s only…what? Thirty-six.” A tear escaped and streaked down Gram’s cheek. “Cancer doesn’t care,” Gram whispered. “No,” Amber protested. “This does not make any sense.” “I know,” Gram said. “I have feared all these years that Miriam may already be dead. I tried not to think about the things that could have happened to her out there alone, in all kinds of dangerous places. Who knew what kind of bad people a girl alone could get mixed up with?” Gram sighed heavily at the years and years of worry. “But when Miriam left home…she just left. She never called. Never wrote. Just handed you to me and drove off. And now, eighteen years later I finally hear from her and she wants to come home. She finally wants to come home and now it seems it’s just…just too late.” “Tomorrow?” Amber said and then repeated. “Tomorrow? Really? Without any warning she just called out of the blue that she is dying and she wants to come back into our lives tomorrow? Unbelievable! She has no right to do this to us.” “She is my daughter, dear. She always has a right to come home.” Amber stood up. Yes. Yes of course. Of course, her grandmother would need to see her daughter one last time no matter what Miriam had done to them all. That’s how Gram was. But Amber was not Gram. “I understand, Gram. I do.” Amber finally relented. “But you can’t expect me to stay and be a part of this. I don’t know her. I don’t have any memories of her. And, of course, I know that you do. I know there must have been some good times for the two of you before she left but, to be honest, I do not have the strength or will to be as generous and forgiving as she would need me to be right now. I’m sorry she has cancer. I’m sorry anyone has cancer. But she can’t come back and put that in our laps, in my lap, and expect me to know what to do with it. Because I don’t. I don’t know what to do with it.” “What are you saying?” “I’m saying that I’ll just take some of my stuff and find another place to stay while she is here.” “Oh, Amber, no. That isn’t right. This is your home and I, well I don’t want you to make a decision right now that you will regret later on.” “Gram, the guilt and regrets have never been mine to carry.” “You say that, and you are right of course, but life doesn’t work that way. You will, over time, look back and regret that you missed this one small window to meet your mother.” “Then when that happens I will just have to remind myself that it never bothered her that she may have missed some small window of opportunity to know me. Not even a birthday card, Gram. Not even one word in eighteen years!” Gram stood up and came to put her arms around Amber. “I know. I know,” Gram said.
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About the Book
For all her eighteen years, Amber had wondered where her mother was and if she would ever return. Now, finally, Gram came to her room to tell her that Miriam had called and was coming home. “When?” Amber asked. “Tomorrow,” Gram said. Then Amber asked the real question. “Why?” And Gram answered, “Miriam told me she is coming home… to die.” The more Amber learned of the circumstances of her mother’s absence, the more cheated and betrayed she felt. Miriam had not only ruined Amber’s past, she was now taking Amber’s dreams to the grave with her. There could never be a happy ending for Amber and her long-awaited mother. How could Amber ever forgive the selfish choices this woman made? It was cruel and unfair to even ask. As Amber struggled with forgiveness, she discovered faith and the truth of Mother Teresa’s words: “People are often unreasonable and self-centered. Forgive them anyway. For you see, in the end, it was between you and God. It was never between you and them anyway.”
About the Author
Sharon started her spiritual journey later in life, but she has had a love of writing all of her life. Her faith and love of writing have melded in this, her second Christian-based book. This book started with the title and then poured out onto the pages. Sharon grew up in rural Vermont but has happily spent most of her adult life in Florida. To escape the confines of a career in the contractual atmosphere of insurance claims and underwriting, she has been grateful for the gift of creative writing.