Our Little Secret, Revealed
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Are you experiencing issues with infidelity and don’t know why? Do you have feelings of guilt, anxiety, depression, low self esteem, and other negative feelings?
I would like to share with you a book that deals with the complications stemming from inappropriate behavior introduced to a six year old boy. Introducing a six year old to a sexual environment intended for married couples is like giving a six year old the keys to your car, in either case, disaster is imminent. It could be that you are not even aware of your abuse and the subsequent issues that resulted from the abuse. The abuse in my story was suppressed for over 55 years before being revealed to me. While this revelation was very painful it also caused me to cling to the verse in Romans 8:28 “And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.”
I have heard Romans 8:28 likened to the process of baking a cake. There are many ingredients to baking a cake like flour, baking powder, baking soda, shortening, sugar, etc. If you were to take a teaspoon of baking powder I’m sure you would agree that it would not be very tasteful. No matter how distasteful it may be, it is a required ingredient in the process of baking a cake. God is working in each of us for His purpose, and this process sometimes requires distasteful ingredients like, abuse, loneliness, depression, anxiety, broken relationships and many others. Just as the cake requires some distasteful ingredients to produce a nice fluffy cake, God also uses distasteful ingredients to mold each of us into His perfect purpose.
Do you have problems with dishonesty, anger, intimacy, insecurity, broken relationships, selfishness, and an insatiable sexual appetite? These along with many other are some of the end results experienced by men who were abused as children.
As I began doing research on the effects of men who experienced sexual abuse as little boys, I found that there are many myths and preconceived notions about this topic. There is one such myth that is completely erroneous, it states that men who were abused as children tend to become abusers of children. I was extremely elated to find that this myth is totally incorrect. Studies show, in fact that most men who were sexually abused as children do not become abusers. Because of myths like this, men are very cautious and even afraid to reveal this abuse and subsequent addiction.
the world has a way of downplaying some addictions to be something they really are not. Society has mocked the very idea insisting that he’s just a “playboy” or maybe a “Don Juan” or “Casanova” or any number of other terms they use to dilute what has become an extremely serious problem in our culture today. From my own life experience, I can attest, sexual addiction is not a joke.
I have been in contact with many people striving to share my story and seek feedback. The statistics show that 1 in 5 adult men have been sexually abused as children. It has become frighteningly obvious that this is a very serious problem among men of all backgrounds. I would contend that the statistics would be a lot more staggering if this matter was not such a well kept secret.
As instructed by one of my counselors, I began a process of journaling my experiences which led to a pretty lengthy story. God has helped reveal things to me that have been necessary in my healing process. As I continued to write and share my story, a dear friend made the suggestion that I should write a book. I was quite taken back by that suggestion as I had never written anything before. I then began to contemplate on this notion and 2 Corinthians 12:9 came to mind. God assures us that in our weakness He is made strong. My conclusion was that a successful publication of this work would only confirm that it was indeed not me but God who performed this good work.
The ultimate goal in doing this book is to help in a healing process for men and families that have been devastated by this disaster. I have also been made painfully aware of the potential struggles that have become so prevalent in the lives of children currently. In this book, there are some suggestions and warning signs when it comes to little children. Specific phrases to be aware of are: It’s our secret, I can’t tell, our little secret, etc.
There are many programs that help in dealing with addictions of all kinds. These programs include a 12 step process and have proven to be somewhat successful. I have concluded that there is no program that works like God’s program. There are things you can do according to the Word of God that will help you in dealing with whatever addiction may have its hold on you.
Do you have children or grandchildren? I would encourage you to read Our Little Secret, Revealed. This book will help in understanding the horrific devastation sexual abuse in a child can cause. This abuse does not only affect the child but, until addressed virtually everyone in their lives.
In consulting a pastor friend of mine he shared that he was able to help in theory only because he had never been subjected to such things. I told him that I would not wish that experience on anyone. My greatest source of support, comfort, and direction has come from ones who have also been victims of sexual abuse. My claim is only that I too have experienced this catastrophic ordeal in my life and have leaned on God to help me make it all good. God has used these distasteful ingredients in my life so that I could use them to ultimately help others and give God the glory for it all.
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About the Book
When author Blythe Hardy was only six years old, he was subjected to sexual abuse that persisted for several years. His abuser instructed him to keep it “our little secret.” Fifty-five years later, Hardy begins to come to terms with the abuse and shares his experiences and his healing journey in Our Little Secret, Revealed.
In this memoir, Hardy tells how that early abuse affected him, leading to the snares of sexual addiction. He narrates how, through the persistence of his wife, he confronted the events of his past and let the truth set him free. Our Little Secret, Revealed tells a story about the abuse, addiction, and eventual victory over the sin of sexual addiction and the role God played throughout.
From the anguish of abuse to the delight of victory, Hardy shares the secrets of a young boy in an ultra-functional family who struggled through abuse that affected his adult life. It chronicles how throughout, he kept his faith in Christ. He divulges his story to help others successfully recover and realize all things do work together for good.
About the Author
Blythe Hardy was a victim of childhood sexual abuse and reveals this secret fifty-five years later. Hardy sought help from pastors, psychologists, professional counselors, and authors. Many of these resources offered help only in theory. The best counsel given was from those with comparable experiences. He lives in Kansas.