No More Fear

God uses everything that happens in our life for His purpose
I have just assisted one of my dearest friends, Dianne, in dealing with her husband’s rare metastatic stomach cancer. They have just prepared for Gaton’s imminent death and we are all filled with grief and sorrow because we will miss him greatly. I had shared with him numerous times about my own experiences with death in an effort to decrease any fears he may have experienced. He said he wanted his suffering over. He had had a wonderful life, felt he had met the love of his life, Dianne, and he considered himself blessed by their relationship.
At that time, I sat with them both Gaton and Dianne, throughout Gaton’s last night of life. I watched them closely and felt so honored that they allowed me to be present for his last hours. He locked eyes on his wife and mouthed to her over and over that he loved her. He waited to die until the only time she looked away. I had sat and prayed for them throughout this whole situation. Gaton was home, on hospice, which was his choice.
Death has been described as the demise, the end, the passing, loss of life. Everyone will die and everyone we know will face death in the future. This book is based on true experiences I have had as both a patient and a Registered Nurse. I believe, and have been told through my own personal experience, that “all life has a purpose and that death is not a permanent end to our existence.”
You see, I almost died at the age of 42. I was very sick and had been in and out of the hospital for many months. I had to have a Thymectomy. This surgery was done to stop my immune system from attacking itself. I was given the wrong blood, post-surgery and my body went into shock. I heard the staff call a code to my room and knew that the crash cart was brought in. I heard them working on me, hearing them was the last thing I remembered. Based on conversations with my husband, I was out for almost 15 minutes. He said after I crashed and they took away the bag of blood, my vital signs began to stabilize. They put me sitting up in a 45-degree angle, my breathing slowed down; they gave me oxygen; and I began to improve. But I remained unconscious for about 15 minutes. He said that about 5 minutes into this collapse, I sat up in my bed in somewhat of a lotus type position, put my arms and hands up into the air like I was praying and my mouth began to move like I wanted to speak but no words came out. My eyes were focused up to the sky. Several physicians came in to examine me but got no response.
The neurologist actually put pins into several places on my body, my face, my arms, my legs. And he did not get any response from me. I didn’t budge. Finally, my friend, Sister Judith Marie Shambo, OSF, (affectionately known as Sister Judy), asked the physicians to leave me alone. She knew from my stance that something unusual was occurring. She was praying for me the whole time. I was no longer in my body but on another spiritual plane. This was something I would have never in my wildest dreams expected to happen. When all of this happened, I don’t know if I was actually near death, but what I do know is that I was, in an instant, carried to a different heavenly dimension. I had no hint as to what was about to happen. I felt I was gone for about three (3) days! Sister Judith Shambo, OSF, my friend, told me that in earth time it was about fifteen (15) minutes! She witnessed this whole event.
This book is being written to explain to everyone who reads it, what this experience taught me, “death is not the end!” Some will believe me and some will not. I really don’t care, but I have been driven to write my story down so that it can be used to help others when their time happens. I have shared my experiences with many people over the years, but I am ashamed to say that I hesitated every time I went to write them down. How does one share such a unique, spiritual experience? I felt inadequate and unable to share things as they happened. I was afraid that I would not remember all the details correctly. How does a person describe something so personal, so perfect, and so full of unconditional love? Something happened to me that was so unexpected and so far, outside of my cognitive ability to understand. How then can this be described in such a manner to do it justice?
Instead of writing this book, I decided that I would share my experience one on one and I have done this since it happened in 1996. Every time I felt the Holy Spirit nudge me to share with someone in distress, or with someone facing death; I shared this experience as a way to explain that “death is the beginning not the end”. Also, it was important to me, to share that there is “no pain in death”. I have no fear of death. I have finally realized that even though my personal experience in sharing has helped others one on one, many others need to hear or read about how beautiful this experience was, - how surrounded by God’s unconditional love I felt. I needed to become an empty vessel so that God can speak to Your hearts and use me in any way possible.
I dedicate this book to Jesus, my Love, my Lord, my Savior, Yahweh, Abba, Father, Wonderful Counselor, El Shaddai, Elohim, Immanuel, Jehovah, Allah, Adonai, and Light of the World, Purifier, and Healer. I absolutely desire every minute of each day to be with Him in Heaven. I pray that you, one day, prepare yourself to meet Him face to face. He is preparing a place for you. It is life as you can never imagine it. It is like going home in celebration with all those who have gone before you.
This book is an attempt to share with you what this experience was like for me. My hope is that it brings a clearer understanding to families when they experience the death of a loved one or renewed hope to anyone dying with or without the support of family or friends. “You will not die alone.” You will feel the Presence of extreme Love, warmth, and compassion”. This is the message I was sent back to spread. God will not crash through a door and rescue you, you need to ask Him to come into your life. He has given you a free will and He won’t force Himself, or His gifts on you. He is always waiting for you to open yourself up to His gifts. But He won’t force any of the gifts chosen for you to receive into your life unless you ask for them. However, His timing is not the same as our perception of time.
We are all connected to God. Life doesn’t always go as we planned. Jesus has asked us to “come follow me”. There is no way I could have gotten through what I did without my relationship with Jesus.
As for me, what happened to me was a life changing experience. I never expected it; it took me by great surprise. I will now try to get You to understand how and why it happened. I pray that God speaks to your heart during the reading of this book and brings great hope to those who are grieving the loss of a loved one.