Unstoppable

"As I was being rolled in the wheelchair through the forest, in my mind I was building a strategic plan to end this rolling in the wheelchair business to bring myself back to life. “I will come back,” I said inwardly. “I will be the same Inga. I have a loving family, who is there for me day and night. I have so many friends who love me and visit me every single day. This crash is not going to dictate how I am going to live. When my wounds are healed and I get stronger, I will get prosthetic legs. I will find ways to do things using one hand. I will learn to walk again using artificial legs. I will rebuild my life and I will live righteously in the sight of God. I know that I will have a beautiful life’s journey despite it all.” It felt as if I had broken through the thick layer of tragedy and despair. For the first time, I saw my situation from an entirely different perspective. I had a clear vision of what I wanted my life to be, and I felt fueled with the unbreakable strength to fulfill it. My desperate wish was replaced by strong determination. My hope was replaced by the assurance that with God's help I would restore my life. I recognized how the Lord was talking to me through the arrangement of these meetings and conversations. He was showing me that He hadn’t left. He had been with me all this time. If He was with me and yet this was allowed to happen, then some serious reason had to be behind all of what had occurred. God doesn’t make mistakes. I decided that I wasn’t going to blame Dalius, fate or God, and I certainly wasn’t going to sit there and whine. The accident was not going to determine how my life would evolve. That moment my inspiration grew into the determination not to give in, but to restore what I had lost. That sunny spring day made a significant impact in my life. Looking back, I see this time presented me with a choice as to which way I wanted to continue. I chose to fight against the odds. I finally saw that I could change the circumstances if I chose to focus on what I had and what I could do. I deliberately began to work on getting myself out of that mental and physical dead end. My outlook for a new era encouraged me to get out of bed in the morning, go to the gym, and to endure those painful massage procedures. My confirmation about the new discovery occurred when I met several young people who, due to various reasons, ended up being paralyzed and using a wheelchair. These were my first “similar fate” friends. Two young men with the same name, Saulius and an elegant young woman named Egle drew me into their circle. They would invite me to spend time with them chatting outside or would come into my room and we would have tea with sweets. They were very supportive and encouraging. What surprised me was that they were always cheerful, joking around and having fun. I could not understand how it was possible to be so uplifting and cheerful while facing the prospect of being confined to a wheelchair for life. Watching them I thought, “Maybe it is possible to enjoy life, even if you have to use a wheelchair?” They had found life to be beautiful in spite of it all and they found what they could enjoy and appreciate. It had a big impact on me, conveying the message that it is possible to enjoy life, even if you have to live differently. I quietly concluded, “It’s what you make out of what you have which will make your life either fulfilling or miserable.” Once again I reaffirmed inwardly that I won’t give in to my limitations and will not give up restoring my life. The more I faced the consequences of my adversity, the more I was affirming to myself that what had happened would not determine how I was going to live. My deep contempt for my helplessness and anger toward the drastic change turned into a non-negotiable resolve to work hard and do everything in my power to become independent again and re-create a dynamic, values-based, God-centered lifestyle. My first goal was to walk. Since the city of Vilnius didn’t have wheelchair accommodations at that time, it meant that I had to walk again no matter what. Otherwise I would be stuck at home with no way to go to work and live as I envisioned. I couldn’t imagine life restricted by my home walls, hospitals and rehab centers. I desired to move around independently, be able to get out of the house, go to work and lead an active lifestyle as I used to. The more I thought about it, the more enthusiastic I got about implementing my new goals. As days were passing by, I was rapidly getting stronger. My determination was getting stronger as well. The more I faced obstacles that were caused by my physical challenges, the stronger I felt I was going to overcome each and every one of them. I wasn’t going to come to terms with what the crash brought into my life. I did not see myself as disabled, nor was I ever going to accept it as my identity. By the time I ended my rehab time, I felt strong and ready to start my journey towards implementing my vision. I believed that with God’s help, I was going to overcome all my obstacles and succeed, creating a vastly different life from where the crash had brought me. I knew that with this event my life did not stop. In fact, it had just begun."